I said I didn't care about River's secret, but apparently I have thoughts. :D
I've decided that the only way I'd truly be interested in Who River Is is if she turns out to be Romana. Of course this would make absolutely no sense with the fob watch logic they've set up, but what's DW without gaping plot holes? Another downside is that (again, ignoring fob watch logic) Romana will ultimately spend all of time as a mother to fake kids. MEH.
Okay, I lied. I'd also be extremely interested if she's Jack. Because HA!!! (However this will never ever ever happen, even if they ignored Jack becoming Boe.)
If she's Susan I WILL BE GROSSED OUT FOR ALL TIME. STOP HITTING ON YOUR GRANDFATHER!
If River's secret is that she makes Eleven regenerate... Well, Wilf managed to off Ten without any epic speeches. (He left that to Ten. MWAH. (Soundtrack courtesy of the Ood.))
I really have a feeling it's going to be:
Show: TA DA!
Show: SERIOUSLY, THIS IS THE MOST EPIC THING EVER ABOUT RIVER.
Show: YOU ARE SO STUNNED, YOU CAN'T EVEN.
Me: Are you sure she's not Romana?