mrv3000 | I've been ordered to post this...

This is one of those things that just kind of dissolved into madness. But it started out completely sane!

goldy_dollar discovered that most people who took her poll a while back would probably accept an invasion of the Earth by killer hamster aliens so long as Ten licked something. Weird that it should somehow turn into this.

Casting spoilers for S4.

As foretold by the prophet Steve, trials the Doctor must complete before being reunited with Rose:

Trial 1: Defeating angry hamster horde.

Trial 2: Hugging Sontarans.

Trial 3: Martha and Donna PMSing at the same time.

Trial 4: Quest to find the green Chucks.

Trial 5: The TARDIS going invisible for a month - inside and out. (Very awkward showers.)

Trial 6: Martha, Donna and Jack PMSing at the same time.

Trial 7: Running out of hair gel.

Trial 7.5: Buying the wrong hair gel.

Trial 8: Accidentally marrying a tree frog.

Trial 9: Five consecutive days of being slapped. (Once by #8 tree frog.)

Trial 10: Running into past self again for three months of self-mocking.

Trial 11: Those goddamn Daleks turning up again, this time trying to merge with hamsters after being impressed with their horde abilities.

Trial 12: Freaky gender-swapping virus.

Trial 13: Jack opening the TARDIS disco.

Trial 14: Aliens who steal your cheese if you blink.

Trial 15: Accidentally sucking Jackie through from the other universe and it taking two weeks to recalibrate the machine.