One American's Understanding of Cricket

[mrv3000]

Contrary to the belief of twenty-seven people, no actual crickets are used in the game of cricket. The game itself has a rich history and is believed to be the reason for much of the British imperialism of recent centuries -- so they could play and beat the snot out of other countries while laughing (ever so politely.)

There are many terms used in cricket. Bails. Wickets. Stumps. Crease. Ignore these terms. They are merely names which serve to identify pieces in the layout of the playing field. And are part of clue #385 in the identity of Jesus' descendants.

To score in cricket, one side must earn runs before the other side "dismisses" the run by saying things like, "You hit like a girl, old chap." To earn a run, one whacks a ball with a flat paddle. If the flat paddle touches the whacker's left leg, then 5 runs are scored. If the flat paddle makes contact with the ball, points are given to England. (If both teams are English, then both teams are given points. If neither of the teams is English, then points are transferred to an ongoing game in the U.K.) If the flat paddle comes in contact with someone of the opposite team's butt, then multiball is called and England scores again.

Time is not kept in cricket, so the game ends promptly at 4 p.m. with tea and the singing of "God Save the Queen."

Comments

[chiroho.livejournal.com]

Rugby tends to involve a lot of people running into each other. Cricket is generally less physical in that sense.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

The world really needs Xtreme Cricket.

[sethoz.livejournal.com]

oh, like have a bomb instead of a ball!!

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Okay, liiiiittle too extreme.

[sethoz.livejournal.com]

.. a *small* bomb?

Oooooh, what about nude Cricket? Or... um... playing it in the Canada ice fields with what they normally wear?

Or...

umm...

Losing team gets no Stargate shows for a month?

[chiroho.livejournal.com]

Well there already is One Day Cricket, in which a match is played in a day. And they're now introducing 20/20, which is supposed to be an even faster paced game. Still not really that physical though.