mrv3000 | (no subject)

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sg-1

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Yes, this is me right now. Completely over the edge. And I was doing so good! Damn spoilers.

The phrase damn spoilers in no way refers to any actual spoilers of Stargate, its affiliates or any related entities. Damn Spoilers is the trademark of nandaco and is licensed under Long Dog Productions.

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WHEESPLAT.

fuckingmooooooooooooooooooo!!

YOU SPOIL ME I UNFRIEND YOU.

Sam turns into a gopher. Swear to God.

That's it! Filters be damned!

(BitTorrent also be damned at the moment. Slooooooowww. Grr.)

Jack turns into a gopher, too. This is so Ssam and Jack can have uncensored sex on national television - it's not porn, it's scientific and educational. Shippers will still complain, though, because there's no "real kiss".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And a million gopher fics are born.

Jack poked his head up out of the hole, his nose twitching. Holes, for the most part, sucked. But apparently that was the life of a gopher. They were dark, smelly, and had absolutely no cable. The real bitch about it was that while Carter had also been turned into a gopher, he couldn't quite tell her apart from any other gopher. He thought he spotted her once when he saw one of his fellow breed taking a special interest in an underground telephone wire. So he attempted to mate with the apparent scientifically-inclined ball of fur, only to discover that the object of his affections was not only not in the mood, but *he* seemed quite pissed at Jack. 'Daniel?' Jack tried to ask, but it only came out as squeekings. The possible Daniel gopher trotted off, leaving Jack's getting-some probability looking grim. "Squeak." Jack muttered.

YES!!! This is what happens! And the fics that follow will be endless!

Oh dear.

Damn Spoilers is the trademark of nandaco and is licensed under Long Dog Productions.

Which is not, in any way, to be confused with Long Dong Productions. They do something *entirely* different. Entirely.

Very much so.

Because, except in very rare instances, dogs aren't involved at all in the latter.

Oh Lord.

BWAH!

rofl @ your disclaimer!

*snicker* ;)

[peeks in]

Gophers?! Nooo! Sam and Jack need more sex than that! (Yes, I am pathetic ... I did quick online research.)

And not moles, either. I think, perhaps, they are prairie voles.

Prairie voles, eh?

Awwww.

exn.ca/Stories/1999/02/09/51.asp

Of course if they were prairie voles, they wouldn't be with each other...

Have watched. Somehow do not think you need to jump. Heh.

Well, the jumping wasn't referring to any actual spoilers, it was referring to the fact that I had succumbed to reading them. I am weak!!

I know. But I thought you might need some reassurance anyway. Because of your AU disability and all.

Hi. My name is Michelle. I have an AU problem.

Why is there poo falling down your LJ?

It's a LEMMING.

So you didn't get put on the Jackson case? Good thing he got sick.

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