Rose felt more than a bit annoyed that promised "sexy garden times" had turned into a nature lecture. She tried to sound interested in the caterpillar the Doctor had on his hand, but she was naked, a bit cold and not at all turned on.
Every so often Rose would catch a glimpse of the Doctor, or at least certain parts of him. She ran past people with their mobiles out, and was certain the Doctor would be in the tabloids tomorrow. Totally naked. Holding a worm.
From out of the sun-shining sky swooped the promised attack crows. They dived behind a building, complete with screeching and squaking.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came the Doctor's cry.
Rose raced over to find him sobbing into the ground, bum in the air.
"THEY ATE HUMPHRY!"
Rose bit off a "YES!" seeing as how traumatized the Doctor was, his eyes full of tears. Instead she patted him on the shoulder and murmered a "poor Humphry" at him.
"I WILL AVENGE HIS DEATH!"
Oh boy. "How about we go back and plan a memorial service for him first? By that time the alien caterpillar slime that's affecting you will have worn off." At least she really really really hoped that was it.
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Rose 'hmm'ed at him.
"It means it's an alien bug! Oooh, I bet he understands me!" The Doctor cleared his throat. "Welcome to Earth. I am the Doctor. Do you come in peace?"
The bug excreted something, making Rose wrinkle her nose.
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Needs moar vampires tho.
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"What?"
"You know."
"Rose! Not in front of Humphry!" The Doctor held up a hand to shield Humphry (apparently) from the implication.
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"Of course!" he said, eyes starting to look a bit wild.
Rose frowned. "Can I hold, erm, Humphry?"
"No!" The Doctor flew to his feet and ran out to the street, not a stitch on him.
"Crap."
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Fully dressed, she ran off in the direction the Doctor took. Shrieks in the distance told her he couldn't be far.
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Yeah, they'd probably never hear the end of this.
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"Rose!"
"Dad? Now's not a good time!"
"Not a good time because the Doctor's running naked through the streets? CCTV's giving us a great view. If you can call it great."
Rose sighed.
"Don't worry. We're sending our attack crows now!" He hung up.
Rose stopped and blinked. Attack crows?
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"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came the Doctor's cry.
Rose raced over to find him sobbing into the ground, bum in the air.
"THEY ATE HUMPHRY!"
Rose bit off a "YES!" seeing as how traumatized the Doctor was, his eyes full of tears. Instead she patted him on the shoulder and murmered a "poor Humphry" at him.
"I WILL AVENGE HIS DEATH!"
Oh boy. "How about we go back and plan a memorial service for him first? By that time the alien caterpillar slime that's affecting you will have worn off." At least she really really really hoped that was it.
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Epilogue
The Doctor groaned into his pillow. "Remind me never to do caterpillar again."
Rose patted him and watched the 1.5+ million hit youtube video on mute. She was considerate like that.
Re: Epilogue
Perfect.
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Was Humphrey just the scout for an ALIEN CATERPILLAR INVASION?!?!?!?
And I wish to hear more about the Torchwood crows.
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You RAWK!
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