"Look, I'm sure we're all a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant."

[mrv3000]

I started typing up a tl;dr essay on the origins of the Doctor. And I started boring myself. Seriously, this was on the next level of tl;dr - tfl;dfr. However, I'm saving it in order to foist it on you all the next time I'm in a bitchy mood. In the meantime...

[Poll #1061138]

Comments

[joyfulfeather.livejournal.com]

You always have the best crack.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

:D

As the new saying goes, "that's so cracktastic it's practically canon!"

[sparky-girl82.livejournal.com]

I love it...I have never even watched DW, yet all these posts amuse me so!

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Bwah!!

[honorh.livejournal.com]

The Doctor *is* the Other. Yeah!

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

*reads wiki on the Other*

*gets dizzy*

[selenityshiroi.livejournal.com]

I've made my own story by picking about four from that list. Unfortunatly, that would be about as much skill as any storytelling I would be doing would involve!

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh.

You totally could come up with so many different stories, just trying to work in different things, couldn't you? :D

[ginamak.livejournal.com]

Dude, just look at those Time Lordy Outfits. There were whips and dungeons and sex swings, you know it. Pervs, the lot of them.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Dude--time wraps around on itself, and all Time Lords are descended from Jack! Which makes all the sex he had with Nine and Rose kinda pervy, but that's Jack for ya.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

*smacks head*

I totally forgot about the outfits! That needs to be factored into the Essay of Long.

No no no!

[pro-hominum.livejournal.com]

The doctor is Jebus remember!

Re: No no no!

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Oh man! I need a very big eraser when it comes to personal canon in Who.

[buckbeakbabie.livejournal.com]

I want to click 'all of the above' cos it'd be amusing... ;)

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Maybe the Doctor's perfectly normal Time Lord parents stitched him up on a Loom! You see, when a Time Lord and Time Lady are mutually pleasing to each other, they head over to the Yarn Barn...

[threerings.livejournal.com]

Personally I'm always loved the idea that the Doctor was half-human, although it fucks all continuity. I like him as a product of a rebellious doomed love, no matter how cheesy that may be. And then he was transferred to a hatchery or something.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww! It would go to explaining his "OMG, humans DIE!!" neurosis as well as his black-sheep nature. I wandered off on this point for a bit in that essay, but wound up with me deciding I didn't really care one way or the other about the half-human thing. I could take either way.

[principia-coh.livejournal.com]

Either he was said product, or he was the product of a Time Lord experiment. My question is whether Who considers his (ostensible) half-humanity as the way we'd understand it, or whether it's more like half-elves are treated by Tolkien - that they get to choose whether to exist as a human or as an elf.

[04nbod.livejournal.com]

half human on his mothers side of course- thats why he loves himself a human lady :D

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Awww. He wants a girl like dear old mum.

[goldy-dollar.livejournal.com]

*reads carefully*

*reads again*

...but. Where's the goldfish option? *EYES*

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Well, you know that Time Babies take the form of goldfish and I know that Time Babies take the form of goldfish, but I'm not sure the general population of Whoville is ready for the truth.

[principia-coh.livejournal.com]

I don't know that I buy the whole looms concept, but I can easily buy the Time Lords picking people to pair off with one another according to their genetic screening results. Gattaca is about what I'm thinking here.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

I could too. Partly because that thing from SoD made it sound like the kids were actually separated from their families at 8. Not exactly a nurturing society with heavy emphasis on family there.

[beck-liz.livejournal.com]

You have no idea how much this is making me laugh right now. I really needed that. *smooch*

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

*smooch*

[queenrikki-hp.livejournal.com]

I congratulate you on this lovely addition to the annals of cracktasticness!

Seriously, everyone knows Time Lords are born from spores.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you! :D

(And yes. Spores. But we have to at least pretend to consider other sides of the matter.)

[roseredathena.livejournal.com]

There was tanker loads of sex between tens of time lord mommies and maybe one or two time lord daddies all of which resulted in the Doctor being hatched in the time lord hatchery in which his cocoon/egg/seed-pod was next to Rassilon which resulted in them both being chimeras with genetic mosaics containing the other's DNA..... whew. For reals. Scout's Honor!

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

That's IT!! The mystery of the Doctor has finally been cracked!

[sensiblecat.livejournal.com]

His dad was a Time Lord, who visited Ancient Greece and fell for a a human girl (Penelope). They had an affair, she got pregnant, the Time Lords tried to abort the baby but they didn't know how quickly human babies develop. So when the Doctor came out he was already viable and they stuck him in the Looms to make the best of a bad job. So he's sort of half-human, but not quite, and that's why he can't regenerate easily and he's never fitted in.

This is all completely non-canonical but it seems to work for me. He tells Rose about it in Chapter 7 or 8 of my first fic, "Boxing Day" - not one of my best but I did enjoy writing that little bit.

[mrv3000.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, wow. No wonder he's sort of shunned by the Time Lords.