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I know I say that I've cracked all the time, but...really now...
The first time in New Who we see the Daleks again, the Doctor tries to kill it and Rose tries to bond with it. These are very mixed signals and so the Dalek downloads the internet to see what's what.
You can tell the Dalek is still confused since we've got death and destruction with a side of rain emo.
The Dalek, clearly tired of feeling feelings, takes a hostage and mocks the Doctor for losing his asexuality. (The harshest insult a Time Lord can receive. "Your momma's so not asexual, she gave birth to you!")
Instead of thinking of a good comeback, it's SPLODING TIME.
But the Dalek simply suns itself with a "Talk to the
The next time we see the Daleks, they've gone into the gaming business. And the Doctor's had time to come up with a comeback.
Doctor: Your momma was so impure, she only had three tentacles.
Daleks: SON OF A BITCH.
The Emperor demands an answer for this bullshit.
Which doesn't go to plan when the Doctor finds out there are one or two mushed-up humans in their lineage.
The Emperor comes up with the ultimate non-asexual slam - one the Doctor can't recover from.
Rose cheats and instead of coming up with a comeback, KILLS ALL THE DALEKS DEAD.
The Daleks return again at the end of S2, this time to talk smack to the Cybermen who are easier targets than the Doctor. (Picture not shown since the author of this post completely lacks the ability to make any sort of screencaps of this episode without dissolving into months-long angst and despair. Instead please enjoy this picture of stuffed animals watching Classic Who.)
The next time we see the Daleks, the Doctor nearly licks a babyDalek. This near-miss is quite possibly one of the most disturbing things in all of New Who. And the Doctor almost had to take on the title of "Dalek Licker."
Daleks in their own little bitch session. Gossipy things, aren't they?
Daleks: [start up non-asexual slams]
Doctor: [GOES INTO FULLBLOWN ANGST MODE]
Daleks: Uh, holy shit. We'd better take him in. I mean, WE MUST TAKE HIM TO OUR LEADER.
Unfortunately, the Daleks had already tried to preempt any impure slams by creating a half-human Dalek that they now had to feed and walk. Fortunately Daleks come equipped with pooper scoopers.
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!
Unexpected Asexual Time Lord
And the most recent time the Daleks have made an appearance was at the end of S4. This time Davros was back, who took the Daleks to whole new levels of batshit with a plan that basically involved:
Step 1: Destroy all of reality everywhere.
Step 2: ????
Step 3: PROFIT!
Meanwhile back on the stolen Earth, a Dalek realizes that the non-asexual slams will be useless if the Doctor is sprinting off for a snogging. ZAP!
The Daleks discover their non-asexual slams hold no power over Jack Harkness and SHOOT HIM.
Now with the added power of Donna, the Doctor finally delivers the ultimate impure putdown and the Daleks SPLODE IN FLAMES.
And then they done sex.
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