mrv3000 | Blogging from the end of the universe.

Yup, sorry. Martha's got another blog post after DW's Utopia. I went and MST-ed. Italics are the original.

Everything’s gone wrong.

First off, this damn superphone barely gets a signal at the edge of the universe. Bit of rubbish that. However, I am determined thumb this message out using punctuation and capitalization.
I pretty much saw the end of the human race today and everything's changed.

Well, the human race didn't really end, but let's not get technical. I'm trying to be dramatic.
So I'm sitting here with this big decision to make. The biggest decision I'll ever have to make. A decision that means I might... well, it's big.

That's right. I might choose to wear my hair down this go-round. There. I said it.
And the Doctor can say what he likes about blogging but I'm going back and reading my earlier entries and it's helping.

Jack can take care of those monsters, after all. Well...humans with filed teeth and really bad hair. Can't really call them monsters. Anyway, I need some me-time.
Those first posts feel like they were written years ago by a different person but it's my life. It's everything I've done.

Ah look. The first time I bitched about Rose. *sighs* Takes me right back.
"Morgenstern was the one who suggested I start doing all this. He reckons that writing things down helps make it all make sense in your head."

Audience: *tries to remember who the hell Morgenstern was and fails*
And oh was he right. That daft nearly-Doctor was right.

Audience: Oh, was he that blond guy? No, wait. One of the rhino police? Did rhino police tell you to blog?? Damn, that's evil.
Because there's just so much to think about right now and it's all swirling around inside my head... the end of the human race. The end of the Universe.

Well, ignoring all that pesky hope of living going on. But that was all kinda subtle, so think I'll ignore that bit.
The Doctor being even bigger than I thought.

Doctor/Martha fen: WOOOOOO!!!!!!
The last thing the Face of Boe said. The Master. Harold Saxon. My mum.

OH MY GOD, MY MUM IS THE MASTER!!!! Wait...
What's going to happen to me...

Goddammit, Jack! Deal with it yourself! I'M BUSY!
So, let's write it down. Let's put it in order.

*shakes off thumb cramp*
It all started in Cardiff. Yeah, I know. Cardiff.

The Doctor promised me the stars, but I got Cardiff. Asshole.
We went there so the TARDIS could refuel and before we knew it we were just so far into the future that all the stars were gone.

And the Doctor promised! DAMMIT! I'm starting to think this is Rose's fault.
And we saw the end of the human race and met this man called Captain Jack Harkness. You know what, on any other day I'd probably be sitting here telling you how fit he was but, right now, that doesn't seem remotely important. But yeah, he was something else all right J

Ooops. Thumb slipped. Anyway, being fit has come in *slightly* handy as... IN A MINUTE, JACK!
Thing is, he used to travel with the Doctor. Oh, and lovely Rose, of course.

Audience: Ohhhh. That was sarcasm. For a second there we thought you could say that word without going apeshit.
But the Doctor left him behind. They were best mates and he just left him behind. And it's made me think two things. Firstly, is that what he'd do with me? Just one day leave me behind, a million miles away from home. I mean, I never thought the Doctor'd do anything like that but then, this is a man who lost one of his hands and then apparently grew a new one.

And you know what they say about people who can grow hands back. That's right. They leave people behind.
Jack keeps his old one in a jar – don't ask!

Audience: But what if we want to ask? *asks*
Secondly though, and again reading the old blog entries really makes me think... when did I last speak to Julia? When did I last think about Keisha?

Audience: Who *are* these people?
After the Pentallian thing, I phoned my mum and said I'd call round for dinner. But I didn't. Travelling with the Doctor, doing all this... I'm not saying you become selfish but there is an element of leaving it all behind.

Audience: So why is *all* the Martha character development happening in her blog? RON MOORE, IS THAT YOU??
You get so caught up in Weeping Angels and Daleks and war memorials and living suns... but, everything ends, doesn't it. You can have all the memorials you like but everything ends. I've just been to the end of the Universe where everything dies and I know he says Rose is okay but Jack thought he'd let her die.

Bear with me. There is a cohesive thought in here. About, you know, dying. And thinking about dying. And...dying.
And I'm his best mate now... yeah, all right, I love him...

He doesn't pay attention to me, but it's well and truly love. I have nothing but his best interests at heart. If only he'd stop moaning about Rose. I mean, yeesh! He should be over her by now, right? He'd be so much happier if he'd just stop being sad.
but does it mean I'm safe? I get so distracted by the Doctor and everything that I don't even phone my mum and if I die...

Audience: Behold, the power of a tight suit.
'Chan' Let me tell you about Chanto 'to'.

Jack: *still fighting off monsters* You are *SO* off my "would shag" list now. Okay, maybe not, but I'd only half enjoy it.
Actually, it's probably spelt C'h'aN'to' or something but it doesn't matter.

Pesky personal details are, like, so boring.
She was an alien. The last of her kind. Part of an unrequited love thing. And instead of being all depressed, she was... wonderful. So sweet and lovely and helping the human race to survive. So, no, she doesn't remind me of anyone at all J

Audience: You're talking about the unrequited love part, right? 'Cause...gotta say about the depressed vs. sweet and lovely about it...
But yeah, she was just so funny. She had to say 'Chan' at the start and 'to' at the end of every sentence.

But, I got her to break that little rule and she loved it but then she died.

Makes you think, doesn't it? About swearing. And death. See? Told you I had a point.
She was killed. She was murdered. By the man she loved.

Jack: I hate you all.
And he was a Time Lord called the Master who, well you won't believe who he else he was.

He was a clown. And a used car salesman from Kent. And the back-end of a pantomime horse for a while.
But yeah, the Doctor was wrong. He wasn't the last of his people. And you'd think that would be a good thing. You know, it would be hope for the future or something.

'Cause if the Doctor can grow back hands, betcha he and another bloke can have babies. Oh HELL. I think I just became jealous of the Master.
But he killed his friend. He killed the person who loved him most. And killing Chanto was just the first thing he did.

Then he had a light snack, the bastard.
He took the TARDIS and left us in the darkness.

Metaphorically and all. There were still lights and stuff.
He went away. And he changed everything.

"Changed everything" in that he took the TARDIS.
He broke everything.

Again, talking metaphorically, because you tend to get deep at the end of the universe. Also, there's a nice restaurant out here.
Everything went wrong.