Classic Who

[mrv3000]

DW: The Time Meddler (One, Vicki, Steven)

• Oh don't look so surprised you've landed in England, Doctor! That really should be your default assumption, even if there are purple bunnies roaming around.
  
  
• Doctor: There you are, young man. What do you think of that? A Viking helmet.
  Steven: Um, maybe.
  Doctor: What do you mean "maybe?" What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?
  
  BWAH!! I could SO easily hear every other incarnation saying that.
  
  
  Steven: [is skeptical]
  Doctor: [thinks Steven is a moron, but rather likes the look of his cape and makes a mental note to try that someday]
  
  
• The Doctor quickly figures out that something's afoot up at the the old monastery and investigates. There he finds the Monk (not that he actually goes by that name), who is another Time Lord. The interesting thing about the Monk is that he's not exactly malicious. Oh, he knows he's not supposed to be screwing around with Earth's history, but the reason he does it isn't really evil. His thinking is if he stops the Vikings from invading England, progress will speed up. He sort of reminds me of a child playing with a chemistry set or something.
  
  
  Step 1: Light beacon fire.
  Step 2: ????
  Step 3: PROFIT.
  
  
• I kept getting distracted by one Viking's very fluffy hair.
  
  
  Debbie the Viking
  
  
• And once he finds it, the Doctor immediately starts screwing with the Monk's TARDIS. This is standard Gallifreyan activity, since I swear there's a Five episode where the Doctor and the Master spend the entire episode sneaking into each other's TARDISes to steal parts.
  
  
  Doctor: YES! I am SO getting a new toaster!
  
  
• In the end the Doctor messes up the Monk's plans and then traps him in that time. Wiki's telling me that the Monk pops up again in another One episode that I haven't seen yet. It would be interesting to see what being trapped has done to him.

The Sea Devils (Three, Jo)

• Okay, I probably should have watched this episode before the Five "Warriors of the Deep" episode, but I didn't realize they were connected. I don't really pay attention to who's in what episode before I start watching one.
  
  
• The episode starts out with the Doctor visiting the Master. I'll say this right now – I swear this episode is the biggest Doctor/Master episode I've seen yet. :D Also, I wuv Three.
  
  
• The Master's been cooling his heels in a jail in a castle. Because...the castle was there? Eh, England's got castles lying around everywhere. May as well use them for something – prisons, jam factories, discos... Anyway, the prison has really become the Master's base of operations (by use of hypnosis and general persuasion on the staff), and the Master has been in contact with the sea creatures to try to get them to take over Earth. Why? Basically I think the Master is bored. Oh, world domination and all, but mainly for the lolz.
  
  
  Master: Just act casual and pretend like touching him doesn't really matter to you...
  Doctor: Ew. Master cooties. No ta! Byeeeee!
  Master: DAMN DAMN DAMN.
  
  
• The Doctor said that he and the Master were once very good friends. "You could almost say we went to school together." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I'll take it as they were in different years at the Academy.
  
  
• British military cars confuse me. Quite a bit.
  
  
  Props Master: I'm telling you, if we take every single door off my car, it'll be like a jeep!
  Director: Um...seriously?
  AD: Come quick! There's a rubber suit emergency!
  Director: ACK! Okay, fine! Do whatever with the car! [RUNS]
  
  
• When the Master's not plotting the downfall of Earth, he's watching Teletubbies some kids' show. :D
  
  
  Master: An anteater on the moon? AWESOMESAUCE.
  
  
• The Doctor and Jo head off to this old fort where the sea creatures are starting to appear. They find one man dead and another going into shock or something. And then the Doctor gives him an injection of something – very rare to see the Doctor doing any kind of medical-type stuff.
  
  
  Doctor: Say "ahhh."
  
  
• But really, it's all about the Doctor and the Master. Mwah.
  
  
  Master: I bet you're wondering why I've had you brought to my cell. Handcuffed, no less. I love you.
  Doctor: What?
  Master: I love soup. Don't you? Evil soup, that is.
  Doctor: I thought you said--
  Master: I DIDN'T.
  
  
  
  Master: We could argue about the sea creatures, or we could...build a gadget.
  Doctor: Gadget, you say?? I'm listening!
  Master: Excellent. I am so in there.
  Doctor: What?
  Master: I LOVE SOUP.
  
  
  
  Doctor: Gadget gadget gadget gadget... [zooms for more parts]
  Master: HE TOUCHED ME.
  
  
  
  Master: You want to take your jacket off.
  Doctor: Erm...not really.
  Master: You're thinking you'd like to go for a coffee.
  Doctor: I'm fine, thanks.
  Master: You'd like to go to a salsa club.
  Doctor: What does this have to do with gadgets?
  
  
  
  Master: Captured and held in a cell together. [sighs] I suppose this means we'll have to start repopulating the planet.
  Doctor: ...
  
  
  
  Master: Sorry, Doctor, but I must steal this hovercraft to make my getaway for now. Bye bye! I love yooooooooou!
  Jo: What'd he say?
  Doctor: Something about soup. I'm afraid it's fallout from a Time Lord ritual, Jo.
  Soldier: Dammit, he's got my shades!
  
  
• Oh yeah, and the sea creatures are defeated after a few attempts to get them to live in peace, but they don't, and an important lesson is learned about being too quick to use military force.

The Brain of Morbius (Four, Sarah Jane)

• The Doctor shoots out the TARDIS, incredibly pissed off since the Time Lords have hijacked the TARDIS and have dumped him on this planet. (When the Time Lords hijack the Doctor, it's always because they want him to do their crap work.) He proceeds to pout and play with his yo-yo while Sarah Jane goes exploring.
  
  
  Sarah Jane: Oh come on.
  Doctor: No.
  Sarah Jane: Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?
  Doctor: Well... No.
  
  
• After finding a headless body, which seems to perk the Doctor right up, the Doctor and Sarah Jane find shelter in a large castle-like structure. (England has so many castles, they're dumping them on other planets.) Here the episode basically goes into Frankenstein. A lot of Four and Sarah Jane-era episodes borrowed plots like this. Like "Robot" is pretty much "King Kong" and so on. The twist for Doctor Who is that the doctor is using the brain of this evil Time Lord called Morbius.
  
  
  Solon: That's Frahnkensteen.
  Sarah Jane: Hell. I'm going to get kidnapped, aren't I? Oh, temporarily blinded and then kidnapped? BAH.
  
  
• Oh, and there's a subplot about some sort of sisterhood who are protectors of a flame yada yada. Think the Pompeii episode from S4, and you've pretty much got it.
  
  
  Crow: Oh, hey, Mike, uh, I'm a Bellerian.
  Mike: Sure looks that way, doesn't it?
  Crow: Yep. I just found out, and you know it's weird. It explains so much about me, about who I am, where I came from, what motivates me and such.
  Mike: Well, sure. I mean, you're a Bellerian.
  Crow: Yep. Why, don't I look like one, or--?
  Mike: No, sure. You do.
  Crow: I mean, I've got to be a Bellerian, otherwise I wouldn't be dressed like this. Gosh, am I a Bellerian? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have to be. Yep, yep, I'm a Bellerian. Oh, hell, am I? I-- No, no, no, I am a Bellerian. I am. Mm-hm.
  
  
• But mainly it's about THE BRAIN OF MORBIUS.
  
  
  Morbius: [evil brainy cackling]
  Sarah Jane: I seriously want a medal for being the companion who's encountered the weirdest shit.
  
  
  Because what you want on your brain ball that's been attached to a mutant body, is a set of doorknobs.
  
  
  And the Doctor defeats Morbius in a round of mind wrestling. You know, I keep thinking that all the Time Lords being dead isn't really a bad thing.
  
  
  And fortunately the Doctor bothered with the sisterhood subplot, since he was sort of dying after all that mind wrestling. Phew!