mrv3000 | Screen Captions

"Carter. Move. Your Hand."

"'Kay!" She shifted her hand.

"Not that way! Higher, higher!"

"Here?"

"That's... less embarrasing, now stay put! That's an order!"

"Yessir!"

"Wow, this stuff must be good- Jonas!"

"I like cookies!"

"Well, that's good, Jonas, but is Teal'c with you?"

"I am here O'Neill."

"Oh, thank- CARTER! SIT. STILL."

"*giggle* Sir, yes sir!"

"O'Neill?"

"Sorry, I have my own higher than a kyte team mate. Where are you two?"

"I believe we are in the far pasture."

"Okay, why?"

"We are watching the goats dance on the rooftops. It is rather amusing."

"...what?"

"Bunny!"

"What? Carter! Come back here!"

"Bunny!Bunnybunnybunny!"

"Carter! Give me your hand... Now STAY."

"Hey, the bunny's gone now. Sir!"

"You're whining.. I can't believe.... Never mind. Teal'c?"

"Can I be Teal'c?"

"No, Jonas, you can't be Teal'c."

"Nobody likes me. What's that song? Nobody likes me..."

"I am here, O'Neill."

"... hates me. Going down..."

"Teal'c, is the stuff you've smoked having any effects on Junior?"

"Yes, O'Neill. Junior is also pleased to see the goats on the rooftops."

"Big ones, small ones..."

*Thinks* "You know... there are goats by the Stargate."

"I don't know the rest of the words. I... don't... know... the rest of the words!" *Sob*.

"JonasQuinn, you are leaking."

"I miss my mom...."

"Teal'c - there are *goats* by the Stargate."

"Dancing goats?"

"Yeah, Teal'c..." *Winces* "Tapdancing ones."

"Sir? I like your butt."

"Teal'c... hold on, what did you say?"

"I like your butt."

*Blinks*. "Oh for God's sake. Carter... did you just pinch my ass?"

"*BUNNY!*"

"Oh, for the- CARTER!"

"O'Neill? Are you quite all right?"

"Crap, that woman can run! Yes! Yes, Teal'c I'm *fine*. I just need you to go watch the tapdancing goats at the stargate Right. Now."

"She made nice cookies. They were big with lots of sugar. And *she* liked me..."

"I believe Junior and I would both like to see the goats tapdancing near the stargate. Come along, Jonas Quinn."

"Meet you there... sometime. Keep a seat open for me, O'Neill out. Dammit, Carter, have you been jogging on your off-time? *huff* I am getting to old for this sh- OOF!"

"Ow! Sir, that was ME!"

"I'm well aware of tha- Tell me my hand's not where I think it is."

"My boobs are squishy. Did you know that?"

"Uh. Actually, they're kinda... Nothing! Nothing! Never mind. I'm just gonna... get off you."

"Get off on me?"

"NO! Stop *giggling* dammit!"

*Pouts* "We lost the bunny, sir."

"Yeah." Fixes shirt. Pauses. Fixes her shirt. "Right. Let's go back to the Stargate."

"No more bunnies?"

*Sigh* "No more bunnies."

"You said there'd be goats, though."

"Even impaired, Carter, your brain is still... pretty sharp."

"Not like my boobs."

"Jesus."

"I think we'll have to hold hands, sir."

"What? Why?"

"There are snakes in the grass."

"There are?!?" Comes to an abrupt halt. "Wait... is this like the dancing goats?"

"What dancing goats? Goats don't dance. Silly!"

"Carter - you pinched my ass *again*!!"

"My hand slipped."

"To my ass!"

"I can't help it. It's not squishy. That's really impressive. Given your age."

"Huh? What? Huh?"

"The snakes have gone now. We can carry on. Gotta watch out for the hamsters, though."

"O'Neill, there do not appear to be any dancing goats here."

"Can I be Sam? I like Sam."

"Wait awhile, Teal'c. They're hiding. Stay very still and they'll.... Carter, would you stop putting your... aaaahhh. I mean, no! No! Bad Carter!"

"I'm sleepy. Can we go to bed yet? Together?"

"That's it - the moment we get home, I'm retiring. And you... you are coming straight home with me afterwards."

"Will there be bunnies?"

"There'll be something resembling bunnies all right-"

"Colonel O'Neill, there are *still* no dancing goats. Junior is not well pleased."

"Teal'c! There were bunnies! And toast! Wait, was there toast?"

"No, Carter, there was no toast."

"Sam likes me too! Hi, Sam!"

"Teal'c, I *promise* the goats will show up soon. In fact, we.. er, THEY are about ten minutes away."

"Are you sure?"

"Hi, Jonas! Hey, do you like sandwiches? I do."

"Carter, you did *not* just say- Stoppit! Hands off the pants, please!"

"Double your pleasure, sir?"

"Would that make Colonel O'Neill like me?"

I'm thinking that *I* need to be high reading through this. ;)

"Jonas, I do like you."

"Likes me better!"

"JonasQuinn and I are aware of that, MajorCarter."

"Hey did you just suggest to me what I think you just suggested to me?"

"Neither myself or JonasQuinn have any idea what you just said, O'Neill. Are you inebriated?"

*Growls* "The goats will be there soon. Carter, get your hand *out* of my pants." Pause. "I cannot believe I just said that. Damn. We're going to have a serious talk when we get home."

"Before or after the sex? And the toast. Can't eat toast in bed, though. We'll have to have sex and toast outside."

"I like sandwiches."

"JONAS! Shut *up*! Just sit down and waiting for the goats."

*Whispers* "I don't like goats, sir."

"They'll be bunnies, Carter."

"Really?" *hugs* "Love you!"

"Wait. You do?"

"Course. And I love bunnies."

*Sigh* "And, let me guess, toast."

"Toast? Why would I love toast? Have you been smoking something, sir?"

"You know, tomorrow when you're - hopefully - no longer high, I am going to embarrass you so *badly*."

"It's my boobs, isn't it? They're not big enough."

"How the hell did you... Carter, I will not have a conversation about your boobs."

*Sniff*. "They are, aren't they?"

"Carter... Jesus... they're *fine*."

"Just fine?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Jonas likes my boobs."

"$&*%$£?!?!"

"They're very nice!"

"JONAS..."

"I don't think you are helping the situation, Jonas Quinn."

"He's never going to like me now, is he?"

"Probably not."

"Thank you, Jonas!"

"Carter. When. Did. He. See. Your. Boobs?"

"Hmm? In the hotel. And why do you care! You think they're too small!"

"I.. I do not! They're wonderful breasts, Carter. Great. Beautiful."

"Now you're making fun of me."

"No! Shit. Why is this happening to me?"

*sniff* "You hate me."

"He hates her? I thought he wanted to-"

"That is enough, Jonas Quinn."

"No, crap. Dammit, boys sit tight or I will find you and do horrid things to your goats. O'Neill OUT. Carter, I don't hate you, and I really like your breasts. They're great."

"You do?"

*deep sigh* "Yes. Now we- Holy shit! Put your shirt back on!"

"I'm hot."

"Yes yo... No! No, you're not hot! Put. It. Back. On."

"I've got my T-shirt on underneath."

"Oh yeah. So you do." *Sigh of relief* "Hey, don't drop it on the ground like that. Carter!"

"Will there be pink bunnies?"

"Sure. Lots of pink bunnies. Can we tie your shirt around your waist?"

Stands still. "I don't like pink bunnies!"

"Okay, there won't be any pink bunnies."

"Good. Blue ones?"

".... Do you like blue ones, Carter?"

*Pouts* Fiddles with hem of T-shirt. "Yeah. But you don't get them. Unless you spray paint them. Do we have any spray paint?"

"You know, I'm pretty sure we do... at the Stargate. Which is... right over there. Can you see it?"

"YAY! Jonas will be there."

"Yeah, about that. How exactly did he get to see your boobs, Carter?"

"You sure are curious about my boobs, sir." *Smack!*

"Carter... would you *not* smack my ass like that?"

"But it's so fun. You can smack mine if you like!"

"You know. I'm beginning to wish I'd smoked that damn pipe."

"It was nasty tasting. Ew!"

"That'll teach you. Next time, just say no."

"It's not like I much choice." *Grumble* "Bastards stuck it in my mouth."

"Oh yeah? We'll, when we get home, I'll make sure Hammond kicks their asses."

"Thor has a really tiny ass, you know."

"......."

Colonel! Sam! We see the goats! And they have top hats and *everything*!

"Jonas, you can stop talking in your radio, we're behind you. And why aren't you wearing pants?"

"Wow! He must be on the stairclimber a *lot*."

"I like talking to my radio. It makes fun noises and it's where the music comes from!"

"I too enjoy speaking through my radio, but as you are close I feel no more need. Are the goats not entertaining?"

"They're fantastic. But you know what'd be even *more* cool?"

"Bunnies!"

"Cookies!"

"There is nothing in the universe more entertaining than dancing goats."

"Oh for crying... you know what? Yes, there is, and it's the look on Hammond's face when Jonas comes through that gate without pants on. Teal'c, dial us home."

"Yay!"

"Can I hit the big red button? I *like* hitting the big red button..."

"We know that, Carter. Wave goodbye to the goats."

"There are no- ooo! Wow, does that goat have sequence on? That's mildly disturbing."

"This entire trip is mildly disturbing. Jonas, stop eating the grass!"

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.

"Oh, thank god."

::blinkblink::

I am....

There are no words.

"Hi, Jonas! Hey, do you like sandwiches? I do."
"Carter, you did *not* just say- Stoppit! Hands off the pants, please!"
"Double your pleasure, sir?"
"Would that make Colonel O'Neill like me?"

Oh, MAN!

*buries face in hands*

The sandwiches! They're EVERYWHERE!

And hot dogs. And bananas.

I'm staying out of it.

Screen Captions

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::

Re: ::insert goat impression::