mrv3000: (SG - will jack kiss sam now?)
mrv3000 ([personal profile] mrv3000) wrote2003-09-17 09:30 am
Entry tags:

Fic: Miscommunication

Title: Miscommunication
Author: Michelle V.
Rated: PG
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Category: Humor/Romance/UST
Summary: After all these years, Jack still doesn't understand Sam.

Set in Season 7, but no spoilers.

A/N: Jojo & I got to talking about the silent communication between Jack & Sam...maybe Jack's not as all-understanding as we'd like him to be. *g* Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] nandamai & [livejournal.com profile] josephides for betaing and a special thanks to Jojo & her brother for the physics lesson...in a part of the story that got axed.

I already have one fic called Communication. This is Miscommunication. (Because I am a dork and can't think up good titles.) It is in no way related to Communication other than the fact that thirteen letters in the title are the same. Well, actually there are already "m"s and "i"s, so just the "s" is new.

Of course, you can find it on my site or or here:

*

The mission reports had been filed, personnel paperwork had been dealt with and he had even taken the time out of his busy schedule to dress down a cocky lieutenant. It was Friday evening and Jack had officially put in his time for the day, twenty-odd floors underground.

"Base" days sucked.

Time to go home, have a beer and...stare at the TV for a few hours? After a full day of sitting on his butt, that sounded as appealing as listening to one of Daniel's endless lectures on rocks or mold or whatever the hell he always talked about.

No. He needed action! Or at least an incredible simulation.

Jack grabbed his jacket and switched off the lights in his office, closing the door behind him and heading down the hallway.

He *could* go grab Teal'c or Daniel to go do something, not that Daniel was ever interested in anything that Jack wanted to do and Teal'c always seemed to just barely tolerate their outings, but he wasn't in the mood for that either. What *was* he in the mood for?

The elevator doors opened and he stepped on.

He frowned. Something nagging at him.

Jack hit the elevator button.

But what? What was... Oh wow!

He quickly punched another button.

That was it!

He jabbed at the button a few more times.

He hadn't seen Carter the whole day! He couldn't believe he hadn't at least stopped by. Well, blame actual work for once. The last he saw her was when he passed her on his way to breakfast. She had said something about being busy in her lab and then...

Then she gave him an odd look.

The elevator doors opened on her level and he stepped out.

Well, the look wasn't *exactly* odd. Just...indecipherable.

He really should be good at reading her by now. He should. Put Sam Carter next to him in the field and she was a Jumbotron with "DRINK BEER" emblazoned in thirty-foot-high letters. Otherwise, for the most part, she was a Gameboy screen. Across the room. In the dark. Under a blanket. Did he mention the Gameboy had no batteries?

Teal'c was easy to understand. Happy/amused/confused/condescending - the eyebrow went up. Pissed off/sleeping - the eyebrow went down. See? Simple.

He scraped his access card against the wall as he walked.

*scrape*

That certainly was an annoying sound.

Heh heh.

*scrape scrape scraaaaaape*

He looked over just in time to be on the receiving end of a withering glare from a passing Marine.

Oh bite me. Jack shoved the card into his pocket.

Where was he? Oh yeah.

Daniel was also easy to read. And most looks from the archaeologist also earned a "bite me" in Jack's mind. Okay, sometimes it was out loud.

But Carter... Oy! And there was this one expression of hers that just...did things to him. The Look. He had no idea what it meant. Not a clue. It was kinda like...almost...as if to say...

What?

WHAT??

He grinned.

Sure it was frustrating as hell, but in a please-God-don't-ever-let-her-stop-smiling-at-me-like-that-even-if-I-never-find-the-answer kinda way. Of course, if Carter *were* an open book, then life wouldn't be any fun. And where was the fun in...no fun?

He bounced into her lab.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Sir." She glanced up then quickly back down to her hands. "Studying the device we found on P34 2X3. It's fascinating!" Carter poked some long wire into the orange ball they had picked up yesterday and typed something into her computer. "The properties are amazing! We have yet to identify the elements but the energy readings kind of remind me of..."

*Why* did he always ask? Why? "Carter?!"

She looked up at him. "Sorry, sir." She tilted her head.

Right. In the field, that would have meant I'm out of ammo. Somehow he doubted that was the correct translation. But maybe she needed *something*.

Jack gestured over his shoulder. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"No. Thanks. I'm fine, sir." Carter smiled and returned her gaze to the gizmo.

There went that theory. And damn! Couldn't he hold her attention for more than a few seconds?

"You sure?"

Carter glanced up again.

Cover me.

Yeah. That still wasn't right.

"Really. I'm fine. Thanks, sir." She gave him another small smile and went back to her toy.

"Okay then." Jack frowned. Didn't she know he was bored? And that it was Friday? Night? Maybe if he started juggling. Or hopping? Or kicking the cabinet?

Whoops. He actually did that last one. He quickly looked over at Carter who was staring back at him.

You've got Jaffa on your ass!

Jack's body tensed as he instinctively began to turn around. It was dumb luck that made him catch his foot on the end of the cabinet. Thanks to a few hop steps he stayed upright. Yeah, he was a smooth one. "Ta da?"

She blinked at him.

Quit being a moron. Sir.

Unfortunately, that translated perfectly.

"Interesting floor show, sir," Carter smirked.

"Like it? Thinking about going on the road."

"Maybe you should hold onto your day job."

"Ya think?"

Ooo. He almost saw it. The beginnings of the Look but she turned away too quickly.

Carter tapped on her keyboard. "Sir, could you help me a minute?"

"Sure." Jack walked around to her side of the lab table and up behind her. "Whatcha need?"

She swiveled her chair, banging her knees against his leg. "Oops. Sorry." She patted his leg.

Well that was certainly...

The hand left.

Damn.

"Just hold this right there and don't move for about thirty seconds." Carter moved his fingers to position the wire in a certain spot.

Jack looked down with suspicion at the alien thing. "This isn't going to zap me or anything, will it?"

"No." Carter turned back to her computer. "At least, it shouldn't."

"Hey!" Somehow he just *knew* she was smiling.

"Okay. Hold still, sir." She punched the keyboard.

His hand started to itch. He knew it! It was zapping him! "Carter??"

"Wow! Just amazing!" She turned and took the wire away from him.

"I take it whatever it did, it was a good thing?" Jack asked, scratching his hand.

"A *very* good thing, sir." She nodded at him.

I've got your six.

He blinked. "You know, one of these days I'm going to get a Carter to O'Neill dictionary."

She smiled.

Let's mow the sons of bitches down!

Okay, no. That *obviously* wasn't it.

"Thanks, sir."

"No problem, Carter."

He slowly walked around the table, running his hand along it and picking up a box with lit numbers on it. A slight noise from behind him made him look back.

Are you sure you want to be touching that?

Okay, so some things translated. He put the box back down.

A thought occurred to him.

"Carter. We came back with that thing about twenty-four hours ago. *Please* tell me you haven't been playing with it this whole time."

She stared at him.

"You went home, right?"

More staring.

"Slept on base then?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly.

This alien is beginning to piss me off.

"Ate?!"

"Of course I ate, sir," she said with a thin smile.

I'm humoring the native so I can get his naquada.

"Carter?! What am I going to do with you?"

The thin smile turned into a real smile and...

AND...

There it was!

The LOOK. He gave Carter a lopsided smirk, which only made the Look become more...more Look-like. Gah! That was *it*!

Jack attempted nonchalance. "Hey. It's Friday. It's late. How about we pack it in and go get dinner? Just you and me."

The Look disappeared and was replaced by a different Carter expression.

General Hammond isn't going to like this.

He grinned.

-End-

[identity profile] samkicksass.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 09:56 am (UTC)(link)
"You know, one of these days I'm going to get a Carter to O'Neill dictionary."

Brilliant! :)

I absolutely adored this fic. What a wonderfully original idea! And it's true, I think he can read her in the field but at home it's a whole other story...which you happend to write!

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:34 am (UTC)(link)
*huggles Anna*

Thanks so much! I just love befuddled Jack! *g*

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[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com - 2003-09-17 10:44 (UTC) - Expand

LOLOLOL

[identity profile] chiroho.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:00 am (UTC)(link)
Brilliant fic, M! I was chuckling and snorting the whole way through. All those "in the field" expressions that Jack keeps assigning to Sam - Too. Damn. Funny!

It's a great story, and you're very talented, not only in channeling Jack, but in writing humour. Awesome!

Thanks for the great laugh. :D

Re: LOLOLOL

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:35 am (UTC)(link)
Brilliant fic, M! I was chuckling and snorting the whole way through. All those "in the field" expressions that Jack keeps assigning to Sam - Too. Damn. Funny!

Hee hee! Thanks!

It's a great story, and you're very talented, not only in channeling Jack, but in writing humour. Awesome!

Thanks so much, Robert! :)

[identity profile] josephides.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:00 am (UTC)(link)
a special thanks to Jojo & her brother for the physics lesson...in a part of the story that got axed

*SOBS*

I already have one fic called Communication. This is Miscommunication. (Because I am a dork and can't think up good titles.) It is in no way related to Communication other than the fact that thirteen letters in the title are the same. Well, actually there are already "m"s and "i"s, so just the "s" is new.

It's funny because.... no one would have noticed UNTIL YOU POINTED IT OUT.

You're just cute as a button and so's this fic *g*.

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:37 am (UTC)(link)
*SOBS*

*pats*

It's funny because.... no one would have noticed UNTIL YOU POINTED IT OUT.

But I am a dork! I needed to point this out!

You're just cute as a button and so's this fic *g*.

*smoooch*

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[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com - 2003-09-17 10:52 (UTC) - Expand

Woo hoo!

[identity profile] gunfodder.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:12 am (UTC)(link)
That was fantastic! Thanks!

Re: Woo hoo!

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:38 am (UTC)(link)
Aww - thanks a lot! :)

hehe

[identity profile] alliesings.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:39 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for the laughter. Between those "there's a Jaffa behind you" moments, and waiting for "the Look" that was a great little scene. It's too bad Sam just won't go out with the man!

Re: hehe

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:45 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks Allie! Yeah, they need to just...resolve all that UST!

*pushes them into a room and locks the door*

;)

[identity profile] poohmusings.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:42 am (UTC)(link)
Put Sam Carter next to him in the field and she was a Jumbotron with "DRINK BEER" emblazoned in thirty-foot-high letters.

HA!

Otherwise, for the most part, she was a Gameboy screen. Across the room. In the dark. Under a blanket. Did he mention the Gameboy had no batteries?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *falls off chair*

He quickly looked over at Carter who was staring back at him.

You've got Jaffa on your ass!


*snicker*!

She smiled.

Let's mow the sons of bitches down!

Okay, no. That *obviously* wasn't it.


HAHAHAHAHA!! HEEHEEHEEEEE!!!

AND...

There it was!

The LOOK. He gave Carter a lopsided smirk, which only made the Look become more...more Look-like. Gah! That was *it*!


SQUEEEEE! The Look AND the Jack-smirk? SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Oh, that was absolutely fab, Michelle. :) And was *exactly* what I needed to recover from my sobbing stint earlier. Although ... now I can't stop giggling. ;)

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:49 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! :D

SQUEEEEE! The Look AND the Jack-smirk? SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I *love* those looks of theirs! SQUEEEE!

Oh, that was absolutely fab, Michelle. :) And was *exactly* what I needed to recover from my sobbing stint earlier. Although ... now I can't stop giggling. ;)

Thanks Karen! *SMOOOCH*

[identity profile] lisayaeger.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:42 am (UTC)(link)
Perfectly lovely!!

I personally think that when he thought she meant

"I've got your six"

that she was thinking

"I want your sex. I mean six. Yeah, six."

But, that's just my take.

;-)

Lisa

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:50 am (UTC)(link)
Perfectly lovely!!

Thanks Lisa!

I personally think that when he thought she meant

"I've got your six"

that she was thinking

"I want your sex. I mean six. Yeah, six."

But, that's just my take.


*snicker* Well, she very well could have been thinking that! *VBG*

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[identity profile] splash-the-cat.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:52 am (UTC)(link)
She blinked at him.

Quit being a moron. Sir.

Unfortunately, that translated perfectly.


Oh God. That was absolutely hysterical, Michelle. And just so... Jack.

*claps*

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:56 am (UTC)(link)
Aww. *g* Thanks a lot, Julie! :)

[identity profile] cheekygal.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 11:25 am (UTC)(link)
I'm humoring the native so I can get his naquada.

*picks herself up off the floor*

*mad giggles*

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 11:40 am (UTC)(link)
Hee hee hee! Thanks for reading! :)

[identity profile] deltachild.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 11:29 am (UTC)(link)
The LOOK. He gave Carter a lopsided smirk, which only made the Look become more...more Look-like. Gah! That was *it*!
D'aw. Gotta love Jack!
What did that orange thing do to him? Is Sam plotting something evil....*mind runs away with that idea...*
Such a sweet n' funny fic!
Ur lj is weirded out...bu tvery very cool. Esp love the white on black (I know I'm strange but ssssh!)

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 11:45 am (UTC)(link)
D'aw. Gotta love Jack!

Absolutely! :D

What did that orange thing do to him? Is Sam plotting something evil....*mind runs away with that idea...*

Hee hee!

Such a sweet n' funny fic!

Thank you so much!

Ur lj is weirded out...bu tvery very cool. Esp love the white on black (I know I'm strange but ssssh!)

Ha! Yeah, it took me a bit to get used to it, but now I really like it. :)

[identity profile] callista1159.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 12:00 pm (UTC)(link)
lol, this is fantastic ;)

i've never seen *anything* like this before, and damn it if it isn't wickedly funny :P

too many great bits to point out, but the whole theme was immense ;) and squee for the 'ship! and befuddled!jack, and the gizmo and the scrapy card, and 'dinner, just you and me'...

[THUD]

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 12:10 pm (UTC)(link)
lol, this is fantastic ;)

Thank you! :)

i've never seen *anything* like this before, and damn it if it isn't wickedly funny :P

Whee!

too many great bits to point out, but the whole theme was immense ;) and squee for the 'ship! and befuddled!jack, and the gizmo and the scrapy card, and 'dinner, just you and me'...

[THUD]


Thank you, thank you, thank you! :) Glad you liked it! *g*

[identity profile] lytarules.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 12:08 pm (UTC)(link)
That was hysterical, Michelle. One of your best! Thanks for sharing it.

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks a lot, Lyta! :)

[identity profile] diavestra.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Whee! Love it! Absolutely love it!

Carter to O'Neill dictionary.

The "field expressions" versus base expressions.

LOL!

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 01:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Whee!

*bounce*

Thanks! :)

[identity profile] nel-ani.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Hehehe, this is funny... *catches herself* Um, I mean, for a ship fic... Obviously...

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh. Yeah. Ship fic. *cough*

*VBG*

Thanks! :)

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[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
*SMOOOOOOOOOOCH*

[identity profile] ruralstar.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, two things. Love this fic and you can thank Rob for sending the link my way! And secondly, adore the icon, well done!

Ruralstar

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 07:09 am (UTC)(link)
Well, thank you on both counts! And Rob was *really* nice for putting a rec on his journal! :)

HEE *happy face*

[identity profile] meg-pat2000.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
That was so Great......

Just what i needed after a serious lacking of decent S/J humour fic of late

(what have you and Suz been doing!)

She smiled.

Let's mow the sons of bitches down!


Mwahahahahahahaha

Soo classic.
Loved it!

Re: HEE *happy face*

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! So happy you liked it! Thanks a lot! :)

[identity profile] angst-angel.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
a special thanks to Jojo & her brother for the physics lesson...in a part of the story that got axed.

Wah! I wanted to see what it was! *g*

Otherwise, for the most part, she was a Gameboy screen. Across the room. In the dark. Under a blanket. Did he mention the Gameboy had no batteries?

Hee - I love the Gameboy comparison. Quite imaginative. :D

In the field, that would have meant I'm out of ammo.

*laughs* Cute ending, too. Heck, it's ALL cute! ;)

[identity profile] josephides.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
a special thanks to Jojo & her brother for the physics lesson...in a part of the story that got axed.

Wah! I wanted to see what it was! *g*


I had to ask the brother about COLD FUSION. Cold. Fusion. Argh! I didn't even do GCSE Physics! *facepalms*

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woodface: (Naughty)

[personal profile] woodface 2003-09-17 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)
That was abosolutely fabulous. Really, I thought about quoting the fave bits but then I'd just be copy pasting the whole thing down here.

Hilarious and majorly cute. And so very Jack and Carter. Great great great!

SQUEE-worthy!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Thanks, this is so what I needed after all the angst I've been going through.

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
That was abosolutely fabulous. Really, I thought about quoting the fave bits but then I'd just be copy pasting the whole thing down here.

Hee hee!

Hilarious and majorly cute. And so very Jack and Carter. Great great great!

Thanks a lot!!

SQUEE-worthy!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Thanks, this is so what I needed after all the angst I've been going through.


Yay! Glad you liked it! :)

[identity profile] nhawk.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Michelle, I enjoyed this sooo much. Thank you!Totally squee-worthy and what a great idea! And so funny - I was laughing out loud for sure. *g*

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 07:16 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks so much! Always makes me happy to hear I make people laugh. :)

[identity profile] starbuck92.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I hopped over here after [livejournal.com profile] chiroho's rec, and just have to say...

Wow!! :) This was absolutely hilarious, and so very much Jack, hehe.

"You know, one of these days I'm going to get a Carter to O'Neill dictionary."

lol! Brilliant! And I love your LJ layout, too. Sweet!

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
I hopped over here after [livejournal.com profile] chiroho's rec, and just have to say...

He was *so* nice for linking me!

Wow!! :) This was absolutely hilarious, and so very much Jack, hehe.

Thanks a lot! I love trying to "channel" Jack - just *love* him!

"You know, one of these days I'm going to get a Carter to O'Neill dictionary."

lol! Brilliant! And I love your LJ layout, too. Sweet!


Thanks and thanks! Love looking at that picture every day. *g*

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anr: (Default)

[personal profile] anr 2003-09-17 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee! Semi-confused Jack is just too adorable.

Favourite part, hands down: Teal'c was easy to understand. Happy/amused/confused/condescending - the eyebrow went up. Pissed off/sleeping - the eyebrow went down. See? Simple.

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 07:21 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! Semi-confused Jack is just too adorable.

Poor befuddled Jack! Thanks, Ness! :)

Favourite part, hands down: Teal'c was easy to understand. Happy/amused/confused/condescending - the eyebrow went up. Pissed off/sleeping - the eyebrow went down. See? Simple.

*snicker* Thanks!

[identity profile] suzvoy.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
*stupid grin*

You are so very clever. *smooch*

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ext_46767: (Jo)

[identity profile] jo-siris.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 02:49 pm (UTC)(link)
rofl! I love how he classifies all the *looks* into offence or defence!

We all need a copy of that dictionary!

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-19 11:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! :) And oh heck yeah - I'm checking Amazon right now for a copy of that dictionary. ;)

[identity profile] sylverwind.livejournal.com 2003-09-20 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Squeeeeee! I got linked here from... somewhere... I forget... but in any case... squeeeeeee!

This is amazing! You've got Jack dead-on... I can totally see his mind working exactly that way. I was giggling the whole time. The thing about Teal'c's eyebrows had me LOL! :D
Anyways, just wanted to share how much I enjoyed it! Hope this isn't too random. ^.^* Peace out!

[identity profile] mrv3000.livejournal.com 2003-09-21 08:49 am (UTC)(link)
Squeeeeee! I got linked here from... somewhere... I forget... but in any case... squeeeeeee!

Hee hee!

This is amazing! You've got Jack dead-on... I can totally see his mind working exactly that way. I was giggling the whole time. The thing about Teal'c's eyebrows had me LOL! :D

Thank you *so* much! :)

Anyways, just wanted to share how much I enjoyed it! Hope this isn't too random. ^.^* Peace out!

I really appreciate it! And nope - not too random. :)

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