![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Can I blame this on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
atomicpagan?
The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
Harrison! Mark! Carrie! Which members of your families did they hold for ransom to make you do this? That *had* to be the reason. It's really the only explanation I choose to believe. Bea Arthur? I know you did it because you thought you were guest starring on The Muppet Show.
Here's a great idea! Let's put a few actors in bearskin rugs and have them speak gibberish with no subtitles...for an hour and a half! We won't have to write dialogue for them, we'll show a couple of clips from the movie and the network will pay through the nose for it because it has the Star Wars name on it!
These people were either brilliant or high.
Wait! I know! Let's have Harvey Korman hit on Bea Arthur and then follow it up with a song!
Okay, I'm gonna go with high.
The premise is that Chewbacca's family (grandpa Itchy, wife Mala and son Lumpy) are waiting for Chewbacca to come home to celebrate Life Day, a name which for some reason instantly reminds me of Festivus. So we watch them grunt at each other and basically screw around without any clue as to what they're saying. However, there is one part where I'm highly suspicious that the translation would have been something akin to an After School Special, most likely about how little Lumpy had to change Grandpa Itchy's litter box...with a smile, dammit!
Oh. And there are some stormtroopers wandering around.
But I have to admit that I learned things - important things that I just never knew about the Star Wars universe.
http://sg1michelle.homestead.com/lj/sw_holiday.wmv (2.4 mb)
The first part - I always *knew* Han was a lovey-dovey kinda guy. I love you too, man.
The second part - Leia singing. Need I say more?
Deep, deep hurting. Pleasant dreams, all!
Harrison! Mark! Carrie! Which members of your families did they hold for ransom to make you do this? That *had* to be the reason. It's really the only explanation I choose to believe. Bea Arthur? I know you did it because you thought you were guest starring on The Muppet Show.
Here's a great idea! Let's put a few actors in bearskin rugs and have them speak gibberish with no subtitles...for an hour and a half! We won't have to write dialogue for them, we'll show a couple of clips from the movie and the network will pay through the nose for it because it has the Star Wars name on it!
These people were either brilliant or high.
Wait! I know! Let's have Harvey Korman hit on Bea Arthur and then follow it up with a song!
Okay, I'm gonna go with high.
The premise is that Chewbacca's family (grandpa Itchy, wife Mala and son Lumpy) are waiting for Chewbacca to come home to celebrate Life Day, a name which for some reason instantly reminds me of Festivus. So we watch them grunt at each other and basically screw around without any clue as to what they're saying. However, there is one part where I'm highly suspicious that the translation would have been something akin to an After School Special, most likely about how little Lumpy had to change Grandpa Itchy's litter box...with a smile, dammit!
Oh. And there are some stormtroopers wandering around.
But I have to admit that I learned things - important things that I just never knew about the Star Wars universe.
- Apparently your average Imperial Guard sports a mustache, really doesn't care for fish but does shop around for Ronco toenail cleaners. Fascinating.
- Wookiees have needs too! You can't blame a rug if he needs a little porn now and again, can you? Mind you it was disappointing, singing, Diahann Carroll porn, but that's presumably because Grandpa Itchy was a cheap bastard and didn't shell out for the deluxe version.
- Jefferson Starship is fun for everyone! Wookiees! Rebels! Stormtroopers! Okay, I admit it. I already knew this. But in life you really can't talk about Jefferson Starship enough. I'm gonna take a leap here and say that despite what you may have heard, most likely in 1985 Craig Chaquico turned to Pete Sears, wondering what the *hell* they had done in 1978 and begging to him to say that they hadn't actually performed in the Star Wars special but rather that it was a bad trip. When it was finally determined that yes, they *had* done the unthinkable, they changed their name to simply Starship in hopes of distancing themselves from the whole affair.
- I've always wanted to learn from an alien drag queen on how to properly prepare and cook a bantha loin. And now I have. To the viewer's delight, Mala tunes into a TV show which was clearly the original Queer Eye for the
Straight GuyFurry Rug. Although, I think I would have preferred watching Carson comment on a Stormtrooper's tight ass that a chemically wrinkled pair of jeans was framing nicely while they stood in the newly-decorated Arts & Crafts-style sleep pod...but I digress.
- When making a holiday special...or even a non-holiday special...if you ever get tired of shooting all that pesky live action, just turn it into a cartoon for 10 minutes. Trust me. It will make complete sense.
- As long as humanoids are able to pronounce "da da da da da" you'll never need lyrics.
- Harvey Korman pulling the undies from his crack is fine, quality entertainment. Bravo, my friend. Bravo.
http://sg1michelle.homestead.com/lj/sw_holiday.wmv (2.4 mb)
The first part - I always *knew* Han was a lovey-dovey kinda guy. I love you too, man.
The second part - Leia singing. Need I say more?
Deep, deep hurting. Pleasant dreams, all!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Page 1 of 3