Altverse Crackspam

[mrv3000]

I tried making this into a fic. And tried and tried and tried. It was pretty much like trying to smack a hole in a brick wall with my bare hand.

And so this is now crackspam.

Doctor: [finishes arranging the bedroom] Hee.
Rose: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Doctor: Hmm. [sets a purring stuffed pink cat on Rose's chest]



Rose: [blink blink blink] What? What?
Doctor: MORNING!
Rose: Um... [more blinking] Pink?
Doctor: Festive, no?
Rose: Pink cat?
Doctor: Blimey you suck at waking up. Although I must say it's better than yesterday when you stared at your feet for five minutes.



Rose: [blinks] There's a pink cat.
Doctor: COFFEE!! [quickly gets Rose some coffee]



Rose: [sits up] HOLY CRAP! The bed is covered in...crap! Valentine's crap! Is that a monkey holding a heart?



Doctor: Crap? But...the bloke at the shop said these are classic Valentine's things.



Rose: Awwww. [pat pat pat] I love that you bought me Valentine's crap. I really do love it when you do stuff like that. [leaves out actually saying "dorky stuff"]



Doctor: Really??



Rose: Yeah. Hold on - how did you get this stuff? You don't have any money.



Doctor: Pete paid me for some odd jobs.
Rose: You actually took money for something?
Doctor: It's my first Valentine's and so it had to be done proper.



Rose: Seriously? How could you not have been around for Valentine's Day before? I mean, I guess it's only an Earth thing, but still.
Doctor: All right, first Valentine's where I belong to someone.
Rose: Awwww. [wraps her arm around his]
Doctor: [grabs a bear] "Be Mine?" Hmmm, not sure I should have got this one. There's really no question, is there? [tosses the bear over his shoulder]



Rose: Nope. [hugs]
Doctor: [sighs]
Stuffed Monkey: [squeaks]



Doctor and Rose: [spend a surprisingly mellow morning lazing and cuddling]



Doctor: I know you said you have something planned tonight, but I wanted to go see something first.
Rose: Okay. OH! I know where we are!



Rose: The chips shop!
Doctor: Our first date!
Rose: This is officially the best Valentine's ever!
Doctor: I should say so! Mickey probably only got you one bear.
Rose: No, he was more into lingerie.



Doctor: WHAT.
Rose: It wasn't very romantic. It was really more for him. And it itched. At least I didn't have to wear it long.
Doctor: LALALALALALALALALA I AM NOT LISTENING.



Rose: Come on, forget all that. We're having chips. I might even let you lick the salt off my fingers.



Doctor: MICKEY WHO?



Rose: Okay, time to pack! And I'm not telling you where we're going!



Doctor: WHEEEEE! MYSTERY TRIP!! How about a little clue?
Rose: Nope.
Doctor: Just a hint?
Rose: Um....no.
Doctor: Pleeeeease?
Rose: Sorry! :D



Doctor: We're going somewhere on a Zeppelin?
Rose: Yup.
Doctor: Can you tell me where we're going now?
Rose: Well...okay. You'll probably just find out from the flight plan anyway. We're going to go take a tour of the Large Hadron Collider.



Doctor: OMG OMG OMG in Switzerland?
Rose: Yup!
Doctor: And I'll get to meet Dr Harold Scott? The Harold Scott? The father of Earth's second age of physics?
Rose: I think he'll be on the tour, yeah.



Doctor: EEEEEEEEE! THIS IS BETTER THAN MONKEYS!
Rose: I still love the monkeys.
Doctor: LET'S GO! LET'S GO NOW!
Rose: [gets yanked onto the Zeppelin]



Doctor: Rose? Why's there someone here who says he's flying the Zeppelin?
Rose: Because he's the captain.
Doctor: But... [pouts]



Rose: It's going to take 11 hours to get there, you know. And there is a bedroom on this thing.
Doctor: \o/ [forgets about wanting to fly the Zeppelin]