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Fic: Once in a Lifetime
Sam/Jack, PG-13, Drama/Romance/Angst, Spoilers: 2010
Warning: Character Death
Once in a Lifetime
by Michelle V.
A/N: HUGE whopping thank you to Anna and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
suzvoy - you're way too fabulous, darlings!
It's 2010 again...
*
The gentle swaying motion lulled Sam in and out of sleep.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
A dot of light broke through the shade of the tree, spotting her face and bringing her back to a semi-alert state.
This was so...nice.
Drowsily she tried to recall whose idea it had been originally.
Was it an impulse purchase?
No, they had talked about it before. Sometime. At breakfast yesterday? On the trip up? The mind numbing two hours they spent in the waiting room the other day?
No use. It wasn't coming to her. Well, whomever's it was, it was hands down one of the best either one of them had. Ever. They had set it up right after lunch. And of course, it demanded to be tested.
A faint smile played on her lips. That had been about two hours ago. Give or take - it was really hard to tell.
Jack's rhythmic breathing was almost in time with the motion. And neither was helping her remain in the land of the conscious. The hand on her back hadn't moved in a while, so odds were he was out himself. She yawned, which made her very aware of the warm, soft flannel of his shirt next to her cheek.
Ooo. That felt good.
Sam moved her head slightly, rubbing her face up and down the fabric a few times before going back to her original spot.
Comfortable didn't even begin to describe it. No question - they needed one of these back in Colorado. Although...hammocks were clearly dangerous - so easy to kill a whole afternoon this way. Admittedly, a risk.
Underneath her arm, Sam felt Jack take a deep, relaxed breath.
Okay, so it was a risk she was more than willing to take. Maybe they should just cart it back and forth between the cabin and home. It wasn't exactly meant to be portable, but she could fix that.
A slight breeze brushed across them. Fall was definitely in the air. Sam's exposed hand found its way into an opening in his flannel shirt, comfortably finding a home on the T-shirt underneath.
She felt an arm tighten around her. Guess he hadn't been asleep after all.
Sam tilted her head up but his eyes were still closed. She studied his face. So familiar, but she never tired of looking.
Eyelashes.
His ear.
The neck.
Mmm. His neck.
One of her favorite Jack body parts. But if she was honest, there were *many* favorite Jack body parts. This particular part was tanned and worn from his outdoor lifestyle - and so damn sexy.
Oh boy. She was fixated again. There was no turning back now.
She stretched her own neck and lightly brushed her lips back and forth on the side of his neck. She loved doing that. It was slightly rough and just, well, really, really...mmm. He, on the other hand, found the whole thing bizarre.
"Wacko." The eyes stayed closed.
If only he could stay asleep when she did that. She smirked, then gave him a lick. A very unsexy, dog lick. On that neck of his.
Nothing was going to get those eyes open. "Ooo, baby. Now you're talkin'."
It was her turn. "Wacko." She grinned and put her head back on his chest.
Sam played with the fabric of his T-Shirt with her buried hand. She was fully awake now and was starting to feel the first twinges of the need to do something. Productive, that is. Relaxing came so much easier to her than it had even a few years ago, but still. They *had* come up here with a list. It was hanging on the fridge.
"You know," Sam began, moving again to turn her head up to him, "we should probably get started on the roof."
One eye opened a slit at her. Then closed.
"Jack."
"Mff."
She patted his chest. "Jack."
Rubbed it. "Jack."
The eyes finally opened. "Hi," he said, smiling.
"Hi yourself."
"Did you want something?"
"Cute. We should probably..."
His other arm went around her, effectively locking her in. "You were saying?" he asked innocently.
Jack O'Neill was many things, but innocent wasn't one of them. And she wasn't about to be put off. "Go look at the roof. Make sure it's okay for the winter. Uh, number 5 on the list?"
"I burned the list. It accidentally caught fire when I threw it in the fireplace."
"You *think* you're funny."
"Not think, know." He closed his eyes, a smug smile on his lips.
"Huh. Jack."
The eyes opened again. "I get you all to myself for only a couple of weeks a year. I don't wanna spend it on the roof."
He was doing it again. He frequently claimed, "healthy priorities," but she knew and always countered with, "procrastination."
"In fact," he continued, not looking very sleepy anymore, "I have no plans on getting out of the hammock anytime soon. Guess what? You're not going anywhere either." He grinned triumphantly at her while giving his arms a good shake, demonstrating that they were firmly around her.
"Guess I'll just have to go do it all by myself." Sam wiggled around in a half-serious attempt to break free, which only made his grip tighter.
Crap. She felt a laugh coming on. And he certainly didn't need egging on. Ever. Sam buried her face in his shirt, trying to stifle herself. And failing.
"Oh, give it up!"
She let out one last smothered giggle before turning her head out towards him. "So, what are the terms of surrender?"
"No roof. We can do it tomorrow."
"We can do *this* tomorrow too you know."
"Oh, we will."
Sam closed her eyes and sighed. "Why do I get the feeling that we're never getting to the roof?"
He grunted.
Her eyes snapped open. It was his 'fine, I give up' grunt. She grinned. "It won't take that long. Then we can cross it off the list."
"Weren't you listening? The list is gone."
"Uh huh." She swung her legs out towards the edge, trying to put her feet on solid ground. A concept that was proving a lot harder than it sounded. And she had a sneaking suspicion that Jack was doing something. She wasn't exactly sure what. Or maybe she just didn't have the whole getting *out* of the hammock thing down yet. She fell back onto him, his arm instantly going around her waist.
"See, you just weren't meant to get out. Sorry. We're just going to have to live out our lives here."
She laughed as she slapped at his arm, which didn't work. Time to try something else. She flipped over which earned her a huge, interested grin. He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Married for five years and he was still an outrageous flirt! It was times like this she was glad she didn't know him in his younger days. He would have been downright exhausting.
"Roof!" she ordered as she backed out of the hammock, using his body as leverage. "Come on. It'll be fun." She gave him her hand.
"Hon, you and I have *way* different ideas of fun," he said, letting himself be pulled out.
"This surprises you?"
He stood in front of her with that smile she loved so well. "Surprises? No. Confuses? Oh, you betcha." He grabbed her hand as they started towards the cabin.
"Well, frankly I've never been able to see how hitting a puck around..."
They stopped. Someone was walking in front of the house. They could hear the footsteps coming towards them. Sam glanced at Jack as he let go of her hand, ready for whatever may come. They *never* got visitors when they were up here.
"Hey guys." Daniel raised his hand to them as he rounded the corner.
It was about time! Daniel had all but disappeared for the last few months. Every once in a while he would leave them a message saying he was still alive, but only after they had left him about ten. And he always managed to avoid telling them what he was up to.
"Daniel! Great to see you! You ever heard of something called the phone?!" Jack demanded as they walked up to him.
"Actually Jack, I've been trying to reach you for the last couple of days. Your phone just rings. Same with your cell, Sam."
Really? Sam looked to her left. Okay, he did something to the phones. It really didn't surprise her, but she was still going to give him hell for it. And clearly that thought was conveyed on her face.
Jack gave her a guilty glance before quickly trying to avoid that topic. "Uh, written? You could have written."
Daniel stared at the ground, crossing his arms over his chest, obviously not in the mood for the usual Jack banter. Sam was beginning to get an uneasy feeling. That same vague, troubled feeling she got whenever her dad was out of contact for too long. Or whenever she and Jack went back to the doctor's to try and figure out why they couldn't get pregnant.
"Daniel, what is it?"
"It turns out we made a mistake. A big one."
*
Had the clock always been so loud? The noise seemed to actually echo off the kitchen walls.
Tick.
Sam looked across the table at her silent husband. He still had his head in his hands. Numb. They both knew what had to be done. And thanks to her, they knew it was possible. It just was a matter of doing it.
Tock.
No personal messages. No hints of the future. Only that which was necessary. More information than they had received, but not much more.
Tick.
Daniel had left for Colorado where they agreed to meet him. They somehow needed to get their hands on a GDO. And she'd have to look up solar flares.
Tock.
Sam roughly pushed her chair back making as much noise as possible. Anything to stop the sound of that goddamn clock! She flung open the refrigerator door staring at the contents inside. Leftovers from the night before. A bowl of half-eaten Jell-O. Carrots. Couple of steaks ready for the grill. Beer. Regular and Diet Coke.
She wasn't hungry. Or thirsty.
She slammed the door shut. And saw it. The supposedly burned list.
Huh.
Jack had scribbled some of his own notes and suggestions. A 'don't think so' here, a 'followed by much sex' there. She pulled it off, staring at it while leaning her forehead against the fridge.
Jack had been right after all. Who cared about any of this? She crumpled the paper in her hand.
Tick.
And still the clock ticked away non-existent minutes, mocking her with every new sound.
Your life has been a lie.
The person you are will cease to exist.
*Everything* now will cease to exist.
Your love will cease to...
Tock.
She could no longer hold back her tears. Loss consumed her as she began to cry softly against the cool surface, balling the paper even smaller in her hand. Nothing had mattered.
Tick.
That was it!
Throwing down the paper ball, Sam marched across the room. She ripped the clock from its nail on the wall, opened the back door and flung it outside.
Just short of the pond. Damn.
A hesitant voice came from behind her. "You threw the clock...why did you throw the clock out the door?"
She turned around. Suddenly a grade school joke popped into her mind. It was too much. She slumped, back against the wall, her sobbing mixing with laughter. Somehow it fit.
"Perfect." She nodded. "After all, it's absurd." Sam grew louder. "Just like the last ten years have been. Absurd." She laughed. "Pointless." She stared at the ceiling. And noticed a crack through her blurred vision.
Painting had been on the list.
"This is really the end, isn't it?" she murmured to the ceiling, her voice catching. "In a few days we'll be gone."
Jack was just as responsive as the ceiling, as he played with his hands on top of the table.
"Gone," she repeated. The word made her nauseous. Panic began to creep in, pushed on by her basic need for survival. "Really gone. As in, not here anymore."
She strode across the room snatching up the paper ball from the floor. She pulled it open and began to smooth it out over the surface of the fridge. "We're not even going back!" She mashed her hand against the paper. "It's not us! It's them!"
"What?" his voice came from behind her.
"She won't make the same choices!" Why was the paper staying so wrinkled?! Dammit! Why wouldn't it smooth out?! "I don't trust her! She won't get it right!"
A corner of the paper tore under the pushing of Sam's fingers.
"God, there may not even be an 'us'...!"
Sam's hands stopped. No 'us'. No quiet, loud, annoying, passionate, simple, exasperating, ordinary, life-fulfilling love.
Also gone.
Sam turned around and let out a jagged breath, startled to find Jack right in front of her, his eyes boring into her. She hadn't even heard him get up.
He grabbed her and attacked her mouth roughly using his lips and tongue, every movement full of desperation. His hands clutching at the back of her shirt.
Her hands went to the back of his head, her fingers pulling at his hair. Pulling him towards her as much as he was pulling her towards him. Her mind flooding with the overwhelming desire to somehow hold on to this - and make herself remember.
Remember in the past.
God! Let her remember in the past!
The tears started again. The salt was getting in her mouth. She couldn't help it - her knees were beginning to buckle. Shakily her legs started to give way as she sobbed, clinging to him as much as she could.
An arm quickly slid under her legs while the other gripped tighter around her back and she felt herself being lifted up. Her fingers found their way back to his hair and clenched. They were moving now. Maybe. It was hard to tell anymore. They were probably going to the bedroom.
Their room. Their bed. Their love.
Maybe there her fingers would be able to let go.
Maybe not.
*
Sam stood by the truck, watching as Jack locked the front door behind him. Bizarre.
She was waiting until the last minute to get in. For probably the hundredth time this morning frantic thoughts of not going through with it assaulted her.
Ignore. Hide. Cling.
Logically she knew what needed to be done. She listened to the sound of Jack's boots crunching towards her through the gravel. Getting her heart to go along wasn't going to happen.
She took another long look at the cabin. Their wonderful retreat. The empty hammock was swaying slightly next to its spot down near the water. In the morning light, it was in the sun instead of the shade. Of all the things they had planned on doing today, she would miss that one the most.
No. That wasn't true, was it? She wouldn't miss it at all.
"We'll be back."
She met his eyes and he looked at her with as much determination as she had ever seen. She wanted to believe him, but she knew how timelines could change. Things *would* be different. "Yeah," she said half-heartedly.
He knew her too well. "Hey." He reached out and took her face in his hand, his thumb moving over her cheek. "We'll be back."
Sam could see it in his eyes - he needed her to believe. She put her hand on his arm and brought her lips up to his. It was all she could do. Any words would only betray her doubts.
"We gotta go," Jack said, pulling away his lips, but not his hand.
She didn't say anything. If she didn't agree, maybe this moment would last a little longer.
He finally let go, Sam turning back towards the house as he walked around the truck. She heard his door open.
"Sam."
"Yeah." She moved, opening her door, and got in.
As they headed out towards the highway, Sam turned around in her seat, watching their cabin disappear from view. And watching him. He never once looked back. Not even in the rear-view mirror.
She longed for his confidence.
*
Things had gone so badly so quickly. There were just too many automated defense devices. And they weren't easily destroyed. But Sam kept firing from behind her cover.
Teal'c lay dead, but had been able to dial out first.
Sam watched as Jack ran towards the gate, her heart moaning with each hit he took.
And then, he...
She closed her eyes. No.
He fell.
NO!
She forced her eyes open. Numb, she saw Daniel try to get to him. And then he was also struck down. But her eyes went back to Jack.
No.
FOCUS!
She was all that was left. If she didn't get the message through, the world would go on without him. Sam sprinted towards him, swallowing against the bitter taste in her mouth. She grabbed the paper from his hand, trying to ignore the wet that came with it and ran towards the gate.
Pain. Hot searing pain ripped through her shoulder as she flung the note through. The blue puddle rippled outward as it caught the paper, then back in again as the note was completely enveloped.
It was done.
She turned around to face her soulless attackers, feeling another shot go through her arm.
Just let her get to him. That's all she wanted. Her only thought anymore.
Sam stumbled towards Jack, willing away the pain as the new injuries came. Finally dropping to her knees, then completely collapsing at his lifeless body. She pulled herself up towards his face and closed eyes. She reached up close to him, softly moving her lips on his rough neck.
The universe went black.
*
Sam was the first to reach the ramp and jogged up to retrieve the object. She picked up the crumpled paper, turning around as she opened it up and trying to pull it smooth. One name instantly sprung out at her.
Col. Jack O'Neill.
There were two gate addresses, only one she recognized, and also two names.
Sam frowned.
Aside from the bizarre note itself, she had an odd sense of...something...
"What is it?"
The voice right in front of her startled her. She handed her CO the note. "You tell me, sir."
She walked behind him down the ramp. The strange feeling was even stronger when she looked at the Colonel. Something wrong? No...it was something unidentifiable.
Stopping at the bottom, he began to read. "Under no circumstances go to P4C 970 or PX5 889. The Aschen, also known as the Nevians are not to be trusted under any circumstances. Colonel Jack O'Neill." He looked up. "Uh, I didn't write this."
"Sir, it's your handwriting. And it looks like your signature," Sam commented.
The confusion on Daniel's face was as plain as it was on anyone else's. "But you didn't send it."
"Uh, no."
"I believe the paper to be stained with blood," Teal'c announced, looking at it over the Colonel's shoulder.
Janet walked up to the Colonel. "May I?" She took the paper. "I'd like to have this analyzed, General."
He nodded to her.
"Wasn't P4C 970 on our mission list?" Daniel asked.
Sam found herself nodding. It sure was. Though she wasn't familiar with the other one.
"It was. Not anymore. I'm not taking any chances," the General looked up to the control room. "I want P4C 970 and PX5 889 removed from the dialing computer immediately."
After a "dismissed," Sam let her eyes follow the General and Janet out the door, her mind full of questions.
How?
Why?
When?
Sam turned back around to her CO. And frowned again. She let the fingers down at her side play with her coarse, military-issue pant leg, while trying to shake herself free of the strange feelings.
"Wonder why you sent it... and when?" Daniel asked the Colonel.
Sam shook her head. She knew they would remain things only to be wondered about. The answers would never come.
By the very fact that they all had read the note and were acting on it, that timeline would be forever erased.
Sam looked at the Colonel. "Yeah. You gotta wonder..."
-End-
Warning: Character Death
Once in a Lifetime
by Michelle V.
A/N: HUGE whopping thank you to Anna and
suzvoy - you're way too fabulous, darlings!It's 2010 again...
*
The gentle swaying motion lulled Sam in and out of sleep.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
A dot of light broke through the shade of the tree, spotting her face and bringing her back to a semi-alert state.
This was so...nice.
Drowsily she tried to recall whose idea it had been originally.
Was it an impulse purchase?
No, they had talked about it before. Sometime. At breakfast yesterday? On the trip up? The mind numbing two hours they spent in the waiting room the other day?
No use. It wasn't coming to her. Well, whomever's it was, it was hands down one of the best either one of them had. Ever. They had set it up right after lunch. And of course, it demanded to be tested.
A faint smile played on her lips. That had been about two hours ago. Give or take - it was really hard to tell.
Jack's rhythmic breathing was almost in time with the motion. And neither was helping her remain in the land of the conscious. The hand on her back hadn't moved in a while, so odds were he was out himself. She yawned, which made her very aware of the warm, soft flannel of his shirt next to her cheek.
Ooo. That felt good.
Sam moved her head slightly, rubbing her face up and down the fabric a few times before going back to her original spot.
Comfortable didn't even begin to describe it. No question - they needed one of these back in Colorado. Although...hammocks were clearly dangerous - so easy to kill a whole afternoon this way. Admittedly, a risk.
Underneath her arm, Sam felt Jack take a deep, relaxed breath.
Okay, so it was a risk she was more than willing to take. Maybe they should just cart it back and forth between the cabin and home. It wasn't exactly meant to be portable, but she could fix that.
A slight breeze brushed across them. Fall was definitely in the air. Sam's exposed hand found its way into an opening in his flannel shirt, comfortably finding a home on the T-shirt underneath.
She felt an arm tighten around her. Guess he hadn't been asleep after all.
Sam tilted her head up but his eyes were still closed. She studied his face. So familiar, but she never tired of looking.
Eyelashes.
His ear.
The neck.
Mmm. His neck.
One of her favorite Jack body parts. But if she was honest, there were *many* favorite Jack body parts. This particular part was tanned and worn from his outdoor lifestyle - and so damn sexy.
Oh boy. She was fixated again. There was no turning back now.
She stretched her own neck and lightly brushed her lips back and forth on the side of his neck. She loved doing that. It was slightly rough and just, well, really, really...mmm. He, on the other hand, found the whole thing bizarre.
"Wacko." The eyes stayed closed.
If only he could stay asleep when she did that. She smirked, then gave him a lick. A very unsexy, dog lick. On that neck of his.
Nothing was going to get those eyes open. "Ooo, baby. Now you're talkin'."
It was her turn. "Wacko." She grinned and put her head back on his chest.
Sam played with the fabric of his T-Shirt with her buried hand. She was fully awake now and was starting to feel the first twinges of the need to do something. Productive, that is. Relaxing came so much easier to her than it had even a few years ago, but still. They *had* come up here with a list. It was hanging on the fridge.
"You know," Sam began, moving again to turn her head up to him, "we should probably get started on the roof."
One eye opened a slit at her. Then closed.
"Jack."
"Mff."
She patted his chest. "Jack."
Rubbed it. "Jack."
The eyes finally opened. "Hi," he said, smiling.
"Hi yourself."
"Did you want something?"
"Cute. We should probably..."
His other arm went around her, effectively locking her in. "You were saying?" he asked innocently.
Jack O'Neill was many things, but innocent wasn't one of them. And she wasn't about to be put off. "Go look at the roof. Make sure it's okay for the winter. Uh, number 5 on the list?"
"I burned the list. It accidentally caught fire when I threw it in the fireplace."
"You *think* you're funny."
"Not think, know." He closed his eyes, a smug smile on his lips.
"Huh. Jack."
The eyes opened again. "I get you all to myself for only a couple of weeks a year. I don't wanna spend it on the roof."
He was doing it again. He frequently claimed, "healthy priorities," but she knew and always countered with, "procrastination."
"In fact," he continued, not looking very sleepy anymore, "I have no plans on getting out of the hammock anytime soon. Guess what? You're not going anywhere either." He grinned triumphantly at her while giving his arms a good shake, demonstrating that they were firmly around her.
"Guess I'll just have to go do it all by myself." Sam wiggled around in a half-serious attempt to break free, which only made his grip tighter.
Crap. She felt a laugh coming on. And he certainly didn't need egging on. Ever. Sam buried her face in his shirt, trying to stifle herself. And failing.
"Oh, give it up!"
She let out one last smothered giggle before turning her head out towards him. "So, what are the terms of surrender?"
"No roof. We can do it tomorrow."
"We can do *this* tomorrow too you know."
"Oh, we will."
Sam closed her eyes and sighed. "Why do I get the feeling that we're never getting to the roof?"
He grunted.
Her eyes snapped open. It was his 'fine, I give up' grunt. She grinned. "It won't take that long. Then we can cross it off the list."
"Weren't you listening? The list is gone."
"Uh huh." She swung her legs out towards the edge, trying to put her feet on solid ground. A concept that was proving a lot harder than it sounded. And she had a sneaking suspicion that Jack was doing something. She wasn't exactly sure what. Or maybe she just didn't have the whole getting *out* of the hammock thing down yet. She fell back onto him, his arm instantly going around her waist.
"See, you just weren't meant to get out. Sorry. We're just going to have to live out our lives here."
She laughed as she slapped at his arm, which didn't work. Time to try something else. She flipped over which earned her a huge, interested grin. He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Married for five years and he was still an outrageous flirt! It was times like this she was glad she didn't know him in his younger days. He would have been downright exhausting.
"Roof!" she ordered as she backed out of the hammock, using his body as leverage. "Come on. It'll be fun." She gave him her hand.
"Hon, you and I have *way* different ideas of fun," he said, letting himself be pulled out.
"This surprises you?"
He stood in front of her with that smile she loved so well. "Surprises? No. Confuses? Oh, you betcha." He grabbed her hand as they started towards the cabin.
"Well, frankly I've never been able to see how hitting a puck around..."
They stopped. Someone was walking in front of the house. They could hear the footsteps coming towards them. Sam glanced at Jack as he let go of her hand, ready for whatever may come. They *never* got visitors when they were up here.
"Hey guys." Daniel raised his hand to them as he rounded the corner.
It was about time! Daniel had all but disappeared for the last few months. Every once in a while he would leave them a message saying he was still alive, but only after they had left him about ten. And he always managed to avoid telling them what he was up to.
"Daniel! Great to see you! You ever heard of something called the phone?!" Jack demanded as they walked up to him.
"Actually Jack, I've been trying to reach you for the last couple of days. Your phone just rings. Same with your cell, Sam."
Really? Sam looked to her left. Okay, he did something to the phones. It really didn't surprise her, but she was still going to give him hell for it. And clearly that thought was conveyed on her face.
Jack gave her a guilty glance before quickly trying to avoid that topic. "Uh, written? You could have written."
Daniel stared at the ground, crossing his arms over his chest, obviously not in the mood for the usual Jack banter. Sam was beginning to get an uneasy feeling. That same vague, troubled feeling she got whenever her dad was out of contact for too long. Or whenever she and Jack went back to the doctor's to try and figure out why they couldn't get pregnant.
"Daniel, what is it?"
"It turns out we made a mistake. A big one."
*
Had the clock always been so loud? The noise seemed to actually echo off the kitchen walls.
Tick.
Sam looked across the table at her silent husband. He still had his head in his hands. Numb. They both knew what had to be done. And thanks to her, they knew it was possible. It just was a matter of doing it.
Tock.
No personal messages. No hints of the future. Only that which was necessary. More information than they had received, but not much more.
Tick.
Daniel had left for Colorado where they agreed to meet him. They somehow needed to get their hands on a GDO. And she'd have to look up solar flares.
Tock.
Sam roughly pushed her chair back making as much noise as possible. Anything to stop the sound of that goddamn clock! She flung open the refrigerator door staring at the contents inside. Leftovers from the night before. A bowl of half-eaten Jell-O. Carrots. Couple of steaks ready for the grill. Beer. Regular and Diet Coke.
She wasn't hungry. Or thirsty.
She slammed the door shut. And saw it. The supposedly burned list.
Huh.
Jack had scribbled some of his own notes and suggestions. A 'don't think so' here, a 'followed by much sex' there. She pulled it off, staring at it while leaning her forehead against the fridge.
Jack had been right after all. Who cared about any of this? She crumpled the paper in her hand.
Tick.
And still the clock ticked away non-existent minutes, mocking her with every new sound.
Your life has been a lie.
The person you are will cease to exist.
*Everything* now will cease to exist.
Your love will cease to...
Tock.
She could no longer hold back her tears. Loss consumed her as she began to cry softly against the cool surface, balling the paper even smaller in her hand. Nothing had mattered.
Tick.
That was it!
Throwing down the paper ball, Sam marched across the room. She ripped the clock from its nail on the wall, opened the back door and flung it outside.
Just short of the pond. Damn.
A hesitant voice came from behind her. "You threw the clock...why did you throw the clock out the door?"
She turned around. Suddenly a grade school joke popped into her mind. It was too much. She slumped, back against the wall, her sobbing mixing with laughter. Somehow it fit.
"Perfect." She nodded. "After all, it's absurd." Sam grew louder. "Just like the last ten years have been. Absurd." She laughed. "Pointless." She stared at the ceiling. And noticed a crack through her blurred vision.
Painting had been on the list.
"This is really the end, isn't it?" she murmured to the ceiling, her voice catching. "In a few days we'll be gone."
Jack was just as responsive as the ceiling, as he played with his hands on top of the table.
"Gone," she repeated. The word made her nauseous. Panic began to creep in, pushed on by her basic need for survival. "Really gone. As in, not here anymore."
She strode across the room snatching up the paper ball from the floor. She pulled it open and began to smooth it out over the surface of the fridge. "We're not even going back!" She mashed her hand against the paper. "It's not us! It's them!"
"What?" his voice came from behind her.
"She won't make the same choices!" Why was the paper staying so wrinkled?! Dammit! Why wouldn't it smooth out?! "I don't trust her! She won't get it right!"
A corner of the paper tore under the pushing of Sam's fingers.
"God, there may not even be an 'us'...!"
Sam's hands stopped. No 'us'. No quiet, loud, annoying, passionate, simple, exasperating, ordinary, life-fulfilling love.
Also gone.
Sam turned around and let out a jagged breath, startled to find Jack right in front of her, his eyes boring into her. She hadn't even heard him get up.
He grabbed her and attacked her mouth roughly using his lips and tongue, every movement full of desperation. His hands clutching at the back of her shirt.
Her hands went to the back of his head, her fingers pulling at his hair. Pulling him towards her as much as he was pulling her towards him. Her mind flooding with the overwhelming desire to somehow hold on to this - and make herself remember.
Remember in the past.
God! Let her remember in the past!
The tears started again. The salt was getting in her mouth. She couldn't help it - her knees were beginning to buckle. Shakily her legs started to give way as she sobbed, clinging to him as much as she could.
An arm quickly slid under her legs while the other gripped tighter around her back and she felt herself being lifted up. Her fingers found their way back to his hair and clenched. They were moving now. Maybe. It was hard to tell anymore. They were probably going to the bedroom.
Their room. Their bed. Their love.
Maybe there her fingers would be able to let go.
Maybe not.
*
Sam stood by the truck, watching as Jack locked the front door behind him. Bizarre.
She was waiting until the last minute to get in. For probably the hundredth time this morning frantic thoughts of not going through with it assaulted her.
Ignore. Hide. Cling.
Logically she knew what needed to be done. She listened to the sound of Jack's boots crunching towards her through the gravel. Getting her heart to go along wasn't going to happen.
She took another long look at the cabin. Their wonderful retreat. The empty hammock was swaying slightly next to its spot down near the water. In the morning light, it was in the sun instead of the shade. Of all the things they had planned on doing today, she would miss that one the most.
No. That wasn't true, was it? She wouldn't miss it at all.
"We'll be back."
She met his eyes and he looked at her with as much determination as she had ever seen. She wanted to believe him, but she knew how timelines could change. Things *would* be different. "Yeah," she said half-heartedly.
He knew her too well. "Hey." He reached out and took her face in his hand, his thumb moving over her cheek. "We'll be back."
Sam could see it in his eyes - he needed her to believe. She put her hand on his arm and brought her lips up to his. It was all she could do. Any words would only betray her doubts.
"We gotta go," Jack said, pulling away his lips, but not his hand.
She didn't say anything. If she didn't agree, maybe this moment would last a little longer.
He finally let go, Sam turning back towards the house as he walked around the truck. She heard his door open.
"Sam."
"Yeah." She moved, opening her door, and got in.
As they headed out towards the highway, Sam turned around in her seat, watching their cabin disappear from view. And watching him. He never once looked back. Not even in the rear-view mirror.
She longed for his confidence.
*
Things had gone so badly so quickly. There were just too many automated defense devices. And they weren't easily destroyed. But Sam kept firing from behind her cover.
Teal'c lay dead, but had been able to dial out first.
Sam watched as Jack ran towards the gate, her heart moaning with each hit he took.
And then, he...
She closed her eyes. No.
He fell.
NO!
She forced her eyes open. Numb, she saw Daniel try to get to him. And then he was also struck down. But her eyes went back to Jack.
No.
FOCUS!
She was all that was left. If she didn't get the message through, the world would go on without him. Sam sprinted towards him, swallowing against the bitter taste in her mouth. She grabbed the paper from his hand, trying to ignore the wet that came with it and ran towards the gate.
Pain. Hot searing pain ripped through her shoulder as she flung the note through. The blue puddle rippled outward as it caught the paper, then back in again as the note was completely enveloped.
It was done.
She turned around to face her soulless attackers, feeling another shot go through her arm.
Just let her get to him. That's all she wanted. Her only thought anymore.
Sam stumbled towards Jack, willing away the pain as the new injuries came. Finally dropping to her knees, then completely collapsing at his lifeless body. She pulled herself up towards his face and closed eyes. She reached up close to him, softly moving her lips on his rough neck.
The universe went black.
*
Sam was the first to reach the ramp and jogged up to retrieve the object. She picked up the crumpled paper, turning around as she opened it up and trying to pull it smooth. One name instantly sprung out at her.
Col. Jack O'Neill.
There were two gate addresses, only one she recognized, and also two names.
Sam frowned.
Aside from the bizarre note itself, she had an odd sense of...something...
"What is it?"
The voice right in front of her startled her. She handed her CO the note. "You tell me, sir."
She walked behind him down the ramp. The strange feeling was even stronger when she looked at the Colonel. Something wrong? No...it was something unidentifiable.
Stopping at the bottom, he began to read. "Under no circumstances go to P4C 970 or PX5 889. The Aschen, also known as the Nevians are not to be trusted under any circumstances. Colonel Jack O'Neill." He looked up. "Uh, I didn't write this."
"Sir, it's your handwriting. And it looks like your signature," Sam commented.
The confusion on Daniel's face was as plain as it was on anyone else's. "But you didn't send it."
"Uh, no."
"I believe the paper to be stained with blood," Teal'c announced, looking at it over the Colonel's shoulder.
Janet walked up to the Colonel. "May I?" She took the paper. "I'd like to have this analyzed, General."
He nodded to her.
"Wasn't P4C 970 on our mission list?" Daniel asked.
Sam found herself nodding. It sure was. Though she wasn't familiar with the other one.
"It was. Not anymore. I'm not taking any chances," the General looked up to the control room. "I want P4C 970 and PX5 889 removed from the dialing computer immediately."
After a "dismissed," Sam let her eyes follow the General and Janet out the door, her mind full of questions.
How?
Why?
When?
Sam turned back around to her CO. And frowned again. She let the fingers down at her side play with her coarse, military-issue pant leg, while trying to shake herself free of the strange feelings.
"Wonder why you sent it... and when?" Daniel asked the Colonel.
Sam shook her head. She knew they would remain things only to be wondered about. The answers would never come.
By the very fact that they all had read the note and were acting on it, that timeline would be forever erased.
Sam looked at the Colonel. "Yeah. You gotta wonder..."
-End-
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Ok that was really good and the beginning was so sweet and cute. But that ending... Bittersweet. Really, some great angst there. Wel written. I loved it!
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No? :(
Really, some great angst there. Wel written. I loved it!
Thanks so much!
*wibble*
::sniff:: But they were ::sob:: so ha..ha.. ha.. happy...
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Tell me about it. Shoot. Me. Now.
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Yes. There was much angst here.
Suddenly... need to run to Suz's site and swallow a couple of her fics.
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Thanks.
Yes. There was much angst here.
I need a hug.
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Now if I could only figure out my web page layout for this story. Darn it! It's taking me longer to do this than it was to write the story! And I want to have an active link before posting on samandjack - and obviously Helio. Urg.
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Fanfiction.net!
Dammit, i knew there was something I was supposed to do today...
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Dammit, i knew there was something I was supposed to do today...
*g* That's just about as good as when you forgot to link up that 2nd Dark & Stormy anywhere on your site. :)
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DOH!
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Can I? ;)
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Okay, you can. But nobody else.
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Woo hoo!
and
For cryin' out loud - go to bed already!! (little miss)
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I'm whopping their assess, though *g*.
Will go to bed now. Night, night.
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Scuse me?
::BLINK::
::drags out the huge Book-O-Short-Term-Memory and the red marker::
Buy more Eddie DVD's. Also, remember toothbrush and credit card.
Re: ::BLINK::
Re: *wibble*
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Thank God! I am not the only one who has no clue about this Eddie Izzard.
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*whispers* Yeah. That's what they told me. If I want to see something weird and British, I'll watch "Trainspotting." Mmmm....Ewan. Only, he's Scottish.
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Nuts.
Also, MV! *sniff* That was really well done. *sniff* They were playing in a hammock. And contemplating sex. And *having* sex, but just not right then. In the hammock.
...
Do you know how difficult it is just to *sit* in a hammock, let alone have sex? Huh. There's a thought for fluffy-fic. MV! WRITE! ;)
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Thanks A.j.!!
There's a thought for fluffy-fic. MV! WRITE! ;)
Actually, this fic started out as fluffy hammock fic. Seriously. First beta got a hold of it. ("What do you mean I can't just imply all the angst?!") *g*
Oh, the *humanity!*
It's not nice to make the ill cry.
Lulling me into false sense of security with the hammocky goodness and pulling the rug out from under me!
Damn, you are gooood(in a totally Evil way).
Re: Oh, the *humanity!*
No notice of character death warning?
It's not nice to make the ill cry.
Oh, sorry! :( Cold? Flu? General ickyness?
Lulling me into false sense of security with the hammocky goodness and pulling the rug out from under me!
Damn, you are gooood(in a totally Evil way).
Thanks! *rubbing my hands evilly*
Re: Oh, the *humanity!*
I noticed it. I was just hoping for gruesome Joe!Death...like an elephant steps on his head or similar. ;)
Cold? Flu? General ickyness?
Thinking it's a 24 hour flu-ish bug. Must call work and tell them I'm coming tomorrow despite still slightly queasy tummy. Fridays are generally easy days anyway.
Re: Oh, the *humanity!*
Now *that's* evil! *g*
Thinking it's a 24 hour flu-ish bug.
:( Drink juice!
Re: Oh, the *humanity!*
Gee whiz, I thought it was imaginative. ;)
:( Drink juice!
I've been drinking juice. For the last 2 weeks I've been on a grape and cranberry-grape juice kick. Orange juice is too acidic, hurts me tum-tum. I usually hate any cranberry variety, but I've been sucking down the crangrap like there's no tomorrow.
Result: Melly gets sick. *sings* Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?
Sorry. Shutting up now.
Re: Oh, the *humanity!*
Re: Oh, the *humanity!*
Am feeling much better, after passing out - on the keyboard, no less - for a bit yesterday and went to bed early. Tummy's still a tad wonkey but I was able to eat solid food for dinner...Mmmmm, oatmeal.
Lure of the paycheck is just too great. Plus, it's our class's movie day. If I start feeling bad, I just say "Movie time!" and the kids high-tail it to the tv. ;)
All of you guys are the greatest ever. ::hugs::sniffle:: I lurrrrrve you guys.
Re: Oh, the *humanity!*
What movie do you get today?
Re: Oh, the *humanity!*
We are limited to G-rated flicks(and a couple PG as long as they don't curse). Between Jessica(my co-teacher) and myself, we have nearly every Disney flick on video. The kids bring stuff in, too. You wouldn't believe some of the movies we've had to confiscate.
The Scooby-Doo movies(not the Buffy/Freddie Prinze, Jr one - thank god for that) are *really* popular. Scooby and the Cyber Chase is the flick of choice atm. I'm just glad I have that time to do my paperwork.
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I know. I know. :(
It was good though ::sniff:: very well written ::sob:: Thanks.
Thank you very much!
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No, seriously, I remember you warning me, but it still made me very!sad!hya. You write Sam angst *really* well.
*off to read a Dark&Stormy to recuperate and cheer myself up...*
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*Finally!* Someone gets it!! ;)
No, seriously, I remember you warning me, but it still made me very!sad!hya. You write Sam angst *really* well.
Thanks a lot. :) For some reason I've been writing a lot of Sam lately. Which surprises me. I always feel like I relate to Jack more.
*off to read a Dark&Stormy to recuperate and cheer myself up...*
There ya go!
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Shame.