![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
(no subject)
I spent last night watching election coverage and flipped around a lot, because I'm interested in what everyone's saying. Politics for me is usually a bit more clinical than emotional.
To sum up my night...
CNN: The polls have just closed, and now begins the waiting process before we can project a winner.
[flips channel]
Fox News: We're now ready to project a winner...
[flips channel]
MSNBC: [has unexpected cheesy graphics]
Me: Hmph. That's what you get for upgrading to Vista.
[flips channel]
Headline News: [newspeople are sitting around eating cake]
Me: [is intrigued by the cake]
Headline News Anchor: OMG, you're all whores for eating the cake without me while I'm stuck behind this desk! Oh, by the way, CNN has projected a winner and just had a fruit basket delivery from Fox News with "took you long enough, bitches" on the note.
Me: [loses interest due to no more shots of the cake]
[flips channel]
CNN Reporter: Let's take a look at the breakdown on the map.[pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke]
Me: They should have gotten a Wii.
[flips channel]
Karl Rove on Fox News: [does not spontaneously grow horns]
Me: WTF?
[flips channel]
Pat Robertson's Happy Fun Time Election Coverage "Reporter": Christians are voting for McCain? What the H-E-double hockey sticks is going on?!
Pat Robertson: [spontaneously grows horns]
Me: [world makes sense again]
Pat Robertson's Happy Fun Time Election Coverage "Reporter": HMPH. None of the Republicans are conservative enough for me, but I still don't understand this McCain business!
Me: Could it be that people don't really care for Bush?
Pat Robertson: Do you think the current administration is the problem?
Me: ACK!!!
Pat Robertson's Happy Fun Time Election Coverage "Reporter": No way. Bush is doing a stand-up job.
Me: [drools]
[flips channel]
Karl Rove on Fox News: [is orchestrating a takeover of the CNN newsroom]
[reporting is interrupted by the pesky candidates]
Mike Huckabee: I'm in this for the long haul!! [not-so-subtly winks at McCain while tying Romney's shoelaces] I am totally running for President and not Vice President!
Me: Will you give me a cookie if I pretend to believe you?
Mitt Romney: WOO! I won in the states I've lived in! Which means that starting tomorrow, I will be simultaneously moving to every remaining state...
Me: [starts to think that Mitt Romney's hair is shellacked because it's a sentient - and very chatty - life form]
John McCain: [slips Huckabee a promise ring]
Me: KNEW IT!
Barack Obama: [gives speech about kids throwing rocks at windows]
Me: [gets a bit sniffly for some reason, until seeing the woman behind him breaking down in tears, and then remembers I'm supposed to be clinical]
Hillary Clinton: I'd like to thank everyone, including Bill who couldn't be here tonight since this week's punishment is trying to sway the opinion of a cow in North Dakota.
Me: HEH.
New CNN/Fox News Conglomerate: Well, there may be no final decisions tonight, but one thing is certain: Mitt Romney sucks.
Mitt Romney's Hair: [plots revenge]
To sum up my night...
CNN: The polls have just closed, and now begins the waiting process before we can project a winner.
[flips channel]
Fox News: We're now ready to project a winner...
[flips channel]
MSNBC: [has unexpected cheesy graphics]
Me: Hmph. That's what you get for upgrading to Vista.
[flips channel]
Headline News: [newspeople are sitting around eating cake]
Me: [is intrigued by the cake]
Headline News Anchor: OMG, you're all whores for eating the cake without me while I'm stuck behind this desk! Oh, by the way, CNN has projected a winner and just had a fruit basket delivery from Fox News with "took you long enough, bitches" on the note.
Me: [loses interest due to no more shots of the cake]
[flips channel]
CNN Reporter: Let's take a look at the breakdown on the map.[pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke]
Me: They should have gotten a Wii.
[flips channel]
Karl Rove on Fox News: [does not spontaneously grow horns]
Me: WTF?
[flips channel]
Pat Robertson's Happy Fun Time Election Coverage "Reporter": Christians are voting for McCain? What the H-E-double hockey sticks is going on?!
Pat Robertson: [spontaneously grows horns]
Me: [world makes sense again]
Pat Robertson's Happy Fun Time Election Coverage "Reporter": HMPH. None of the Republicans are conservative enough for me, but I still don't understand this McCain business!
Me: Could it be that people don't really care for Bush?
Pat Robertson: Do you think the current administration is the problem?
Me: ACK!!!
Pat Robertson's Happy Fun Time Election Coverage "Reporter": No way. Bush is doing a stand-up job.
Me: [drools]
[flips channel]
Karl Rove on Fox News: [is orchestrating a takeover of the CNN newsroom]
[reporting is interrupted by the pesky candidates]
Mike Huckabee: I'm in this for the long haul!! [not-so-subtly winks at McCain while tying Romney's shoelaces] I am totally running for President and not Vice President!
Me: Will you give me a cookie if I pretend to believe you?
Mitt Romney: WOO! I won in the states I've lived in! Which means that starting tomorrow, I will be simultaneously moving to every remaining state...
Me: [starts to think that Mitt Romney's hair is shellacked because it's a sentient - and very chatty - life form]
John McCain: [slips Huckabee a promise ring]
Me: KNEW IT!
Barack Obama: [gives speech about kids throwing rocks at windows]
Me: [gets a bit sniffly for some reason, until seeing the woman behind him breaking down in tears, and then remembers I'm supposed to be clinical]
Hillary Clinton: I'd like to thank everyone, including Bill who couldn't be here tonight since this week's punishment is trying to sway the opinion of a cow in North Dakota.
Me: HEH.
New CNN/Fox News Conglomerate: Well, there may be no final decisions tonight, but one thing is certain: Mitt Romney sucks.
Mitt Romney's Hair: [plots revenge]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
I'm pretty sure most of the news people were ready to project winners with .000001% of the vote in. Heck, isn't that what they've been doing for the past week or so?
Pat Robertson: Do you think the current administration is the problem?
*blinks* He actually SAID that???? Pat's one of those folks who can't admit a mistake unless pressed to it, and he's been backing the "current administration" 100% for awhile now. Is it the End Times? *cowers*
John McCain: [slips Huckabee a promise ring]
Oh, dear. McCain/Huckabee scares me. *cringe*
Me: [gets a bit sniffly for some reason, until seeing the woman behind him breaking down in tears, and then remembers I'm supposed to be clinical]
HAH! *points* SEE??? I knew I was in trouble when I started tearing up over Obama's post-South Carolina win speech. And that was only when I read it; I was doomed when I actually got to watch it.
New CNN/Fox News Conglomerate: Well, there may be no final decisions tonight, but one thing is certain: Mitt Romney sucks.
Mitt Romney's Hair: [plots revenge]
Mitt's hair is kinda scary, isn't it? It's all plastic-y. I could easily believe it if it turned out it was, I don't know, Cylon or Terminator hair or something.
no subject
BWAH!! :D
I'm pretty sure most of the news people were ready to project winners with .000001% of the vote in. Heck, isn't that what they've been doing for the past week or so?
Pretty much.
*blinks* He actually SAID that???? Pat's one of those folks who can't admit a mistake unless pressed to it, and he's been backing the "current administration" 100% for awhile now. Is it the End Times? *cowers*
Well, it wasn't really an admission, but more softballing a question that the other dude could immediately smack down.
Oh, dear. McCain/Huckabee scares me. *cringe*
I think there's a very good chance we'll be seeing that.
HAH! *points* SEE??? I knew I was in trouble when I started tearing up over Obama's post-South Carolina win speech. And that was only when I read it; I was doomed when I actually got to watch it.
He definitely can speechify, that's for sure.
Mitt's hair is kinda scary, isn't it? It's all plastic-y. I could easily believe it if it turned out it was, I don't know, Cylon or Terminator hair or something.
TOTALLY. Probably even Cylon One.
no subject
I'm kinda skeptical. McCain is too progressive for people who would vote for Huckabee, and Huckabee is too crazy for people who would vote for McCain. There's a slight chance that it would net votes from both sides of the Republican party, but I think it's more likely it would just hand the election to the Democrats on a silver platter.
no subject
no subject
I think Obama has an overall better chance of winning the presidency, but I'd be happier with Clinton in the White House. And I have an irrational fear of Huckabee winning anything. He just scares me.
no subject
Reporter: WOW! Big-name endorsements from senators and governors don't seem to guarantee a win!
Anchor: O RLY?
Reporter: WOW! There are women voting for Obama! SRSLY!
Anchor: But now let me tell you all about these 52-47 exit polls that confirm that every woman in the country is voting for Hillary Clinton!
no subject
Anchor: O RLY?
MWAH. Yes.
Reporter: WOW! There are women voting for Obama! SRSLY!
Anchor: But now let me tell you all about these 52-47 exit polls that confirm that every woman in the country is voting for Hillary Clinton!
Every woman did vote for Hillary! It's true.
no subject
John McCain: [slips Huckabee a promise ring]
I'm expecting McCain/Huckabee slash fic to be appearing on the 'net any minute now. OH YOU KNOW IT'S COMING.
no subject
Local news tries so hard. *pinches cheeks*
I'm expecting McCain/Huckabee slash fic to be appearing on the 'net any minute now. OH YOU KNOW IT'S COMING.
TOTALLY.
You win at politics
Me: [starts to think that Mitt Romney's hair is shellacked because it's a sentient - and very chatty - life form]
*Snorts*
Hillary Clinton: I'd like to thank everyone, including Bill who couldn't be here tonight since this week's punishment is trying to sway the opinion of a cow in North Dakota.
Moo :-)
Re: You win at politics
:D
Moo :-)
Those cows are tough ones to crack.
no subject
you should have your own show!
no subject
no subject
Me: Could it be that people don't really care for Bush?
Pat Robertson: Do you think the current administration is the problem?
Me: ACK!!!
I'd "ACK!" too, if I ever agreed with Pat Robertson on anything! *shudder*
John McCain: [slips Huckabee a promise ring]
Noooooooo! I don't want that man to get anywhere near the Oval Office, even if it's only as Vice President. While his economic ideas are intriguing, his fanatical Christianity makes me want to run for the hills.
no subject
:D Glad it amused.
I'd "ACK!" too, if I ever agreed with Pat Robertson on anything! *shudder*
It was a very scary moment.
Noooooooo! I don't want that man to get anywhere near the Oval Office, even if it's only as Vice President. While his economic ideas are intriguing, his fanatical Christianity makes me want to run for the hills.
I don't think I've heard him speak enough to get to that "nooooo" point yet. However, Mitt Romney has sufficiently scared the hell out of me, due to the "weasel" vibe I get.
no subject
I think I'm the opposite--I've never heard Romney speak enough to get scared. What makes you get the "weasel" vibe?
I've seen Huckabee on a late night talk show or two, and he seemed kind of interesting--I'm intrigued by his Fair Tax idea, although I'm not sure it would work. But then I heard somewhere that he wanted to "amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards": http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/01/15/579265.aspx
O.o
I'm sorry--I'm not against a religious person holding office, but when you decide you want to force your views and values on everyone else, that's when I start backing away slowly so as to not startle the crazy.
no subject
no subject